A Practicing Gentleman

You're a practicing gentleman
Aren't you?

Very polite

I can tell

Holding doors

Reserving opinions

It’s refreshing

It’s a shame you’re not a doctor though

I hear the girl

Four doors down

Was in great need of a doctor

They sent her to Wilshire

And when she came back

Well...

She’s been in bed ever since

Terrible headaches

Poor thing

How do you suppose she became ill?

A young, healthy girl like that

I can’t imagine

I can’t even begin to

So many strange mysteries these days

So many questions

So many things weighing on the mind

I don’t suppose

It’ll come as any great surprise to you

That you’re being talked of

As the man

Who may have gotten that young girl

Into trouble?

I'm sure you hear the same things
Everybody else hears

Now

You and I both know

It's not true

But a great number of people nowadays

Still think a man such as yourself

Has the ability

Or the interest

To go around

Terrorizing young ladies

So they have to be sent away

For months on end

The girl won’t talk

But if she does

She’s certainly not going to speak the name

Of the man

Who’s truly at fault

I suspect she still loves him

Based on the way her mother’s been talking

I go over and visit

Every so often

Her mother and father trust me

Because of my standing in the community

But also because they know who I am

And what I am

And while it may…unsettle them

At a time like this

I think it brings them great comfort

Knowing of my—

Disposition

And they certainly don’t believe

That I had anything to do with

What happened

And so…

It got me thinking

Of course there’s no way

To make any kind of

Announcement

About the sort of man

You are

But there are ways to…

Indicate it

Perhaps if you went for a visit with me

To the young girl’s home

And I introduced you

As one of my friends

Then her mother and father would tell everyone
About our friendship
And soon all that nasty gossip
Would come to an end

Of course

For me to do that

We’d have to become friends first

Don’t you think?

I wouldn’t want to lie

To such wonderful people

Who’ve already suffered

Such a great misfortune

But I don’t suppose

You’d mind

Being my friend

...Would you?

Not if the other side of the coin

Was an extended stay in prison

I’m sure I’m not as lovely

As some of those other men

You carouse with

At the club on Browne and Fairfax

But people do trust me, you know

I can't imagine why

But it's true

They trust me a great deal

And I’m sure you and I could

Work something out

Two practicing gentlemen

With similar interests

People like you and I

We have to stick together

Don't we?