Statistically

I’m just saying that

Statistically

I have more of a right

To be proud

Than you

About this

Okay?

I get that life

And stuff

Things

Are hard

For you

I get that

I see the one arm

I know what’s going on there

I understand that there aren’t a lot of

Uh, parts

For people with, uh

You know

One arm

But, like, along comes

This Broadway play

Where they’re looking for someone

With one arm

And, I mean, let’s be honest

There aren’t a ton of options there

So you just stroll in

Just so casual

About the whole thing

Because you know

You’ve got, like

Statistically

A way better shot

At getting that role

Than anybody else

Because, like, it’s a play

What are they going to do?

Green screen somebody

With two arms?

I don’t think so

It’s theater

So it needs to be, uh

Yeah, you know

Real

And there you are
With your one arm
Looking all smug

So yes, you’re in a Broadway play

Congratulations

Super happy for you

But also?

I’m in the play too

And I have both my arms
So...
I think we need to--okay?

I'm just pointing out

That I went into the audition

And there were like, and--

I’m not just saying this

There were a million other options
In terms of, like
The role I was up for

And I still got it

Over millions

Of other people
I got it

You got the role over
Maybe one other person
If there happened to be
Another one-armed girl
Who could act

But that seems
Highly unlikely

So I just think that

You know

Statistically

I have more of a right

To be proud

Than you do

And when I heard you say

That we should all be proud

There was a part of me that--

This is honesty talking now
So just don't get--but--

There was a part of me

That was like--

No

No, we should not all be proud

We can all be happy

Sure

Of course

I would never tell you that you can’t be--

Because I’m sure

You’ve had a harder life than me

...Depending on what your definition of hard is

Like I had overbite as a kid

And you have one arm
And so there are levels of, like, hard

But yeah, be happy

You’re on Broadway

I’m on Broadway

Let’s all be happy

But as far as proud goes--

I think we need to look at

You know

The statistics

Because statistically speaking

I just have way more reasons

To be proud than you do

About this

Particular

Thing

I earned my pride, okay?

I earned it

You just lost an arm
Or, like, weren't born with one
Whatever

That was it

It’s like when, like, survivors

Of some tragedy

Like a shipwreck or something

Get called ‘heroes’

Like, they’re not heroes

They just didn’t die

That doesn’t make them heroes

You know?

And that’s like you

You’ve got one arm

And you’re an actor

In a show

Playing a character

With one arm

You’re lucky

You’re not a hero

And you should be happy

About that

But not proud

No

Pride?

Pride is for me

For people like me

People

Who really

Earned it