Southern Discourse

The boy came around here

Looking for

Southern discourse

What were we supposed to do?

Boy goes to a place

Where he don’t know nobody

And doesn’t know nothing
And starts dancing

Dancing

Did he tell you

He was dancing?

Well, he was

And so people had opinions about that

And last time I checked

You can have opinions

You’re born with ‘em, right?

So he came up in here

Dancing

Acting some kinda way

And, ha, shit happens

That’s just how that goes down

Now, you came to get him

And I think that’s cute

Probably had to come a long way

To get your boy, huh?

I don’t suspect I know

Where Alabama is

But I sure as shit know

It’s nowhere near France

But here we are

In France

Now you didn’t come here thinking

Your ass was going to wave a flag

And salute it

And make all of us

Kiss the dirt on you

Now was you?

Pardon the pronunciation

We just thought

We’d make you boys feel better

By taking on a little twang

Carry on with a bit of

Southern discourse

The man only asked him

To get down off the bar

And wouldn’t you know

Your boy

Didn’t like that very much

And he took a bottle

And cracked it right on that man’s face

Lucky he ain’t blind

Well--he might be

He might be blind

But whether he is or not

It doesn’t really matter

Because we have no intention

Of letting you

Or any of the other six guys you brought with you

Take that boy home

To good old Alabama with you

See, if he wants to act a fool

Back in the shithole

Where y’all come from

That’s his right, I suppose

But he ain’t gonna act that way here

Now ain’t it 1902?

We don’t stand for that kinda thing

And you posturing

And puffing out your chest

Well, that ain’t scarin’ nobody

And you keep it up

You’re going to find yourself

All puffed out

I can promise you that

Now why don’t you sit down

And have a drink

You’re going to need some liquid courage in you

When you have to call and tell that boy’s mama

That you’re coming home empty-handed

And I can assure you

You are

You’re giving me that eye

Like you think
Being American is going to get you somewhere

And all it’s going to get you

Is a world full of trouble, my friend

So have that drink

And make that call

Then be on your merry

Fucking

Way

Because there ain’t going to be

No rescue attempt today

There ain’t going to be

No grand American escape grand

You’re just gonna get back

On all your horses

And ride hom

To all your ugly wives

Is that clear to you?

Am I speaking

Clearly enough

Because if not

I got a six guys of my own

Who’d love to try

And sixteen more after that

And another thirty after that

And--

Well, you get the picture

Don’t you?

You know, between my love of

Southern discourse

And this accent--

I had a feeling

We’d understand

Each other