The Driver's Seat

When the husband’s at work

She calls

Bring over some beer

Bring over some smokes

Husband can’t stand

The smell of smoke

So we go out on the deck

Fucking freezing last week

Thought I was going to turn blue

Go back inside

Take a nice shower

Watch some tv

Ask her

When she’s going to get a job

She tells me

To mind my own business

Then she gets on top
And we figure it out

That’s how I think of it

Us

The two of us

Doing what we do

It’s like puzzle pieces

Me and her

We don’t know

What the fuck we’re doing

But—

Like I said
We figure it out

She likes watching me

Get dressed after

Tells me I remind her

Of something

From a movie

‘What movie,’ I ask her

She says she doesn’t know

Because she hates movies

Too many people talking

And too much

To keep track of

She’s a piece of work

She really is

Finishes every last one of those beers

And half the pack of cigarettes

In the few hours I’m there

Gotta beg her

To come in from outside

Just so I can give her

A kiss goodbye

She wants to stay out there on the deck

Smoking and crying over something

I don’t have the guts

To ask her about

There’s a crib in the spare room
And nothing in it

She thinks I don’t know it’s there

But I know

The cars that go by me

On the way home

From her house

Give me the fucking jitters

Chances are

One of 'em

Is her guy

At home I watch
Whatever channel I had on

Before I fell asleep

With the remote in my hand

Usually it’s one of the news channels

Explaining why bread’s gonna kill me

Or why kids don’t understand math anymore

The phone rings

It’s her

I ask her if she’s okay

Because she never calls

After he gets home

He’s in the shower

And she wanted to hear my voice

I can tell today was rough

Even the part with me in it

And she might have to go back to the hospital

That means he’ll have to take her

And I’ll have to wait two weeks

Before I hear from her again

I ask her if she wants to meet me

Outside the Target

Over by Meniac Drive

Down by the Scoville line

And she says ‘Okay’

When I get there
I’m not even halfway out of my truck

Before she’s hugging me

Crying into my shirt

Telling me how fucked up everything is

And how fucked up she is

And why did I even bother driving out here

When I could go get ten other girls

Way better than her

And spend my time with them

I tell her she’s nuts

And I kiss her forehead

Because what else am I supposed to do?

We stand there for a second

While people with red shopping carts go by us

Probably taking home a bunch of shit

They don’t need

I ask her if she wants to come home with me

For a few hours

And she says she can’t

His mother’s coming over tonight for dinner

And then they’re supposed to talk about some things

She’s so nervous she’s shaking

And I have to hold her hard

Just to get her so she doesn’t
Snap her own neck

I smell her hair

And rock back and forth with her

Until I can feel her body let go

She could probably fall asleep like this

With me holding her

Holding her up

Making sure she doesn’t go down in a parking lot

Where people would walk right by her

And never think twice about it

‘Hey,’ she says to me

And I pull back

So she can see me

‘Hey,’ I say

She looks sorry

And angry

And a lot of things

I can’t put my finger on

‘You got a smoke,’ she asks me

That’s when I look over at her car

And realize her husband’s been sitting in the driver’s seat

The whole time

Not looking at us
Not looking at anything

Just got his head down
Like he's waiting
For us
To finish
So he can take her home