Pea Soup

I’d definitely say

It was casual

He would bless me

I would vacate the body

And then we’d, like

See each other

At parties or whatever

Or like, when I was possessing

Somebody else

And it’s cool, you know

I wasn’t looking for anything serious

But I just think--

I mean, if you’re going to spend hours and hours

Denouncing somebody

You should at least buy them coffee or something

Before you go running back to Rome

Or wherever it is that he’s from

See, he says the whole thing was toxic

But I have a real problem with that

Because, yes, okay, I have my issues

But I’ve been hurt, you know?

I mean, I was thrown from Heaven

With the force of a thousand earthquakes

So obviously, I have trust issues

And things I need to work out

And I am

I am working those things out

And to do that

I occasionally need to inhabit the body

Of an innocent

And I don’t need him
Coming along

With his Bible

And his collar

Judging me

For how I choose

To process my issues

I just don’t need that

...But, I mean, is he handsome?

Yes

He’s super handsome

But he’s also committed his life

To the deity

Who cast me out of Paradise

So...

It’s sort of tricky for me?

I mean, he shouts things at me

He hollers these, like, Latin phrases

And I’m growling

And I’m drooling

Because what the fuck else am I supposed to do?
Sit there and grin
While he tribes to rebuke me?

I don’t think so

What’s going on

Between me

And the eleven-year-old girl

Whose body I’m controlling

Is none of his business

And if he wants to talk to me

He can wait until I’m done

Spreading my bile

Into the souls of every human being

I can get my horns in

I’m just tired of guys like him

Coming around

Bringing their friend

Saying prayers

Flicking holy water on me

I mean, it’s a lot, okay?

It’s just a lot

For me, it really comes down to respect

Do I respect his views?

No

Does he respect mine?

Clearly not

So we’re at this impasse?

Because I really do want to hang out with him

Like, outside of work

Both my work and his work

But I need to know

There’s a foundation of trust

And just a, um, mutual level of—

Sorry I have to sneeze

Do you ever have to sneeze when you’re—

I just try to be careful

Because the last time I sneezed

Two separate species of antelope

Went extinct

So I really try to be careful about—

Okay, I’m fine

But seriously

I love that he’s devoted

Like, I get that

I really do

But what about devotion to the shared experience

Of the two of us

Being in a room together
Going through something
So few people understand?

Me pretending to be his mother

Saying vile and obscene things

And him looking scared

And acting all hurt

When I throw him against a wall

When really I didn’t even throw him that hard

And he needs to chill the fuck out

Because I don’t need that kind of theatrics

Do you know what I mean?

It’s just a lot of bullshit

And frankly

It makes me not want to possess anybody at all

Which is a shame, let me tell you

Because I’m great at what I do

And I’m going to own that

And own my power

And like—

I am amazing

At filling a person’s spirit

With the hatred

Of the Foul Beast

It is a real passion for me

And I just wish

He understood that, you know?

It just goes to show you

All you can do is show somebody who you are

And they can either take it

Or leave it