From the Bottom of My Broken Heart

My first boyfriend

Brought me to see Britney

He was so excited

And the whole time

He kept talking about

How hot she was

Which, like,

I had to have known

That he was gay

Because otherwise

Why would my boyfriend

Talking about how hot

Some woman is

Not make me angry?

It’s because I was, you know

So relieved

That we weren’t there

Just because he thought

She was fabulous

We were leaving the concert

And we were going to meet my parents

In front of the diner

On Alastair Street

Because my mom didn’t want to pick us up

Anywhere near the arena

So we’re standing in front of the diner

And there’s this other couple

A guy and a girl

From another school, I guess

Because I didn’t recognize them

And the guy’s looking at my boyfriend

And I’m looking at the guy

Looking at my boyfriend

And I just--

I was like--

Even then, I was like--

Ohhhhh

I know where this is going

But I don’t think the other girl knew

What was going on

I saw my boyfriend

Wanting to talk to this other guy

And I--you know

I don’t know why I did it

But I said to him--

Say hi

And he had this moment

Where--

You know, it was like

We both were transcending ourselves

And going forward in time

To a place where, like,

He was gay

And I’m miserable

And everything is just grand

And yeah

We haven’t talked

In forever

But in this moment

I’m thinking back

To that moment

When I knew enough to be like--

Here’s something

That can really help someone

Move forward

Towards who they’re supposed to be

You just--

You just have to say

It’s cool that this thing

This you-and-me moment

It’s, you know, it may be

Where we are

But it’s not

Where we’re going to wind up

So I said--

Say hi

And he did

And the other guy said ‘Hi’ back

And they started talking

And the other girlfriend was like--

What the hell is going on?

And I tried to, like, convey

With my eyes

Like--

Girl, the end is nigh

But it was just these two guys

Having a short conversation

And talking about

How their favorite song

Is From the Bottom of My Broken Heart

Which, like, if you didn’t know they were gay before

That definitely shook loose the etch-a-sketch, you know?

My mom showed up a few minutes later

Drove my boyfriend home

And on the way back

She turned on the radio

And that song came on

From the Bottom of My Broken Heart

And I remember smiling

Listening to it

And I thought--

How weird that I’m smiling

When this song is so sad

And, you know, so many things

Are so sad

But

I didn’t feel that way

I didn’t feel that way

At all