Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely

There’s just no point

In getting this far in life

To sit in a condo by the beach

With nobody else

To enjoy it with

Not saying there aren’t people

Who have it worse

Lots of people

Millions

But I always assumed

That if I ever got this far

There’d be people around

When I got here

It’s not that I chased people away

Keeping anybody around

Just wasn’t on my mind very much

And I always thought

I didn’t need people

It’s crazy how you make

A decision like that

When you’re surrounded

By people

It’s like deciding if you’re going to eat again

After you’ve just had dinner

You won’t know about being lonely

Until you’re lonely

That’s how it works

And if you’re wondering

How it is

To be lonely by the beach

Let me tell you

It’s not like all those music videos

From the 90’s

It’s not sad in that pensive

Kind of way

It’s a deeper sort of sad

A sad where you get trapped in your head

And even though you have all this beauty in front of you

All you want to do

Is dig yourself down

Into the sand

And never come out again

I went online to one of those forums

And when I posted that

Somebody asked me

If I was thinking

Of hurting myself

That made me feel bad

Because I don’t want

Anybody worrying about me

I just want them

Keeping me company

The people in the forums aren’t bad

But for all I know

It could be one guy

With a frozen head in his freezer

Telling me all about

How he used to cure his loneliness

By turning the tv up so loud

His neighbors called the police

That made you feel like

There were people in your house?

No, but when the police came by

I’d invite ‘em to stay for awhile

If he’s a serial killer

At least he’s one of the charming ones

I got here

By saving up all my money

While my sister

Was pissing away hers

She used to say--

Why do I want to be rich

When I can have fun?

Never made sense to me

Until I got where I am now

And it’s not like I’m old

But I’m not young

And it’s not like I’m boring

But I’m not fun

My sister was fun

She was…

She was a lot of fun

She loved people

And she loved the beach

And she loved the Backstreet Boys

Those were the joys of her life

She had a lot of them

But those were the main ones

And she always made sure

I had a lot of fun
And that I was never alone

Even when I thought
I wanted to be

It’s a gift to have someone

Like that in your life

No matter how long

You have them for

It’s a gift