Don't Judge Me

You love me like a new car

And I’ve got some miles on me

I can take you only so far

Before I stop

Because my engine’s

Overheated

And when I put the coolant in

It goes up

Like a frying pan

I’m good for quick love

Not because I don’t desire

A longer kind

Nothing that’s ever

Let you down

Has wanted

To let you down

Nobody who’s ever

Failed to show up

Knew they wouldn’t

When they left you

Looking out

A window

Waiting

I wish I was a broken clock

So then at least

I’d have two times

When I was right

I used to be

A snooze button

And people used me

To disappoint themselves

Before that

I was a wing on a plane

And the feeling that came

When we’d hit

That last mile

Was like knowing

Something you knew

Nobody else

Would ever know

I could never give you

The full history of me

Because even the parts

I like to remember

Are only a small part

Of the real me

Somebody pushed

And I gave

And created something

Out of the given

And the push

You think because

I don’t work

I never worked

Let alone worked

Flawlessly

But I remember Grade A

I remember gold stars

I remember being in a catalogue

And hearing that I was top line

That I was impeccable

That I was a source of pride

So don’t judge me

Because what you’re judging

Is the latest version

Of something

That used to be considered

Perfection

And that wasn’t even

What I was going for

I was only trying

To go forward

And let people see me

The way they wanted to

There are better things

And bigger parts of me

That were detached

And reassigned

And now after a meltdown

I’m a board game piece

Every time you get better

You get smaller

Not larger

Larger is harder

To get right

I’m glad I’m not much

Of anything now

Because at least I know

That what I am

Is right

So you can look

At what I could do for you

And think somebody else

Could do it better

And you might

Be right

But I swam in clouds

And I woke people up

And I was a new car

Before I wasn’t

And I know exactly

What I’m capable of

You stand there

Judging what arrived

In front of you today

But yesterday?

And the day before that?

I was shinier

Than the shiniest object

That ever blinded you

I was so bright

Forget about loving me

You wouldn’t even

Be able

To look