We've Decided To Stop Teaching You Math

We’ve decided

To stop teaching you

Math

For years

We insisted

That it would come in handy

But we just can’t do it anymore

We can’t pretend

That all of you

Are going to need it

Oh sure, you’ll need the basics

Addition, subtraction

Whatever the hell PEMDAS is

But once you get

To the advanced stuff

You only really need to absorb it

If you go into a field

Like engineering

Or math teacher

Which is circular

In a way that will mess you up

When you get older

Because you realize

Everything in life

Leads you back to the same place

And if that place is math

And you’re not particularly fond of math

You will go right off

The deep end

We used to think

Being well-rounded

Was of the utmost importance

But, you know, the more we think about it

The more we realize

That you kids really need

To figure out

Who the hell it is

You’re going to be

Way before you turn fourteen

By then, you should already be

Honing skills and zeroing in

On chosen career paths

If you are planning

On living a life

Where you need

To do any math

More complicated

Than the calculator

On your phone can handle

You need to know that

Before your freshman year

And even then

Algebra Two is just useless

I mean, nobody knows

Why we teach you

Algebra Two

It is very specific

And very pointless

And depending on

Who you have as a teacher

And where you go to school

The depth of its pointlessness

Can either be shallow

Or vast

And that’s not fair either

So much of education

Is inequity
And we just want to try

And repair that inequity

But the only way to do it

Is to make high school

Friendlier to the individual parts

Of your personalities

So from now on

No more math

Unless you love math

In which case

Have at it

Same for English
Same for History

Same for everything but gym

Because obesity

Among people your age

Is still at an all-time high

Even though we understand

That this country’s definition of obesity

Is highly problematic

What it all boils down to really

Is that we’ve been propping up

The same bullshit curriculum for decades

And you kids aren’t getting any smarter

In any of the subjects

You don’t give a fuck about

So why do we keep

Shoving them

Down your throats?

Just study what you want

Provided you study something

And if you don’t
You better learn to code

Or program

Or do something interesting

Because these days

You need to be able to demonstrate

That you’re good for something

Preferably something

That impresses people

But we know

That might be

Too much to ask

And we think we’ve already been

Asking you kids

For a lot

Too much, probably

But hey--

Live and learn

Right?