Start with the Shampoo

Start with the shampoo

Then put the pulp in

I don’t know

What the pulp is made of

But my nephew

Sent it back

From the East

Have you had pulp

From the East?

Are customers asking for it?

I saw in a magazine

That pulp is the best thing

For dry hair

And my hair is always

So dry

When I write to my nephew

Who lives in Europe

I ask him to send me

Something for dry hair

And pulp is what he sent me

But he told me

I need an expert

To put it in

So I told him not to worry

Because I’d take it to Didi

You’ve never had anybody

Take in pulp before?

Well, start with the shampoo then

And we’ll see what happens

With the pulp

Don’t tell anybody about the pulp

I don’t need people harassing me

Asking me to ask my nephew

To send in more pulp

Even though I could make

A little side business out of it, I’m sure

I never used to try out

All these schemes

For making yourself look better

But when you get to be my age

You give everything at least one shot

I like most of me

Don’t get me wrong

But my hair has always

Driven me up a wall

I’ve tried everything

Every style

Every cut

And everything to give it

Some body

I always loved those models

I’d see in magazines

With that thick thick hair

And I’d be so jealous

My sister has hair like that

But her own son

Doesn’t speak to her

And he speaks to me

And so she can keep her hair

I’d rather have a son

Or, in my case

A nephew

I don’t know why

They don’t talk anymore

But I think it’s because

She didn’t want him

Moving to Europe

And I told her--

Stephanie, if you give that boy

A hard time about moving

He’s never going to move back

And sure enough

Even though this is just

A suspicion of mine

I bet he’d have been back already

If he didn’t feel like

He had something to prove

...And he’s married to three other people

I don’t know how it works

He’s not a bigamist

It’s this thing they do in Europe

Where you can marry

A lot of people

And all live together

Sort of like on a commune

Except I guess they live in a nice house

And I’ve seen pictures, and I gotta tell you

It is a very nice house

In a house that big

No matter how many people

You’re married to

You can go off

To your part of the house

And just be by yourself

So I think I could do it

If I had to

But I’d have to move to Europe

And I don’t need all those taxes

If this pulp treatment works

I might consider it though

Because I feel bad

Having my nephew

Send me pulp every week

Just so you can rub it

Into my scalp

If I lived in Europe

I could just get a European hairdresser

To do it for me

I know you’d miss me though, Didi

So don’t you worry

I’m not going anywhere

All right, let’s get going

On that shampoo

But don’t let anybody

Touch my pulp

If I knew what kind of pulp it was

I’m sure I could get some of it here

But my nephew wouldn’t tell me

That boy and his secrets

He’s just like me

Can’t get a word

Out of him