The Hand Model

I held the necklace

And they asked me

Not to put it on

They told me

The hard part

Um, when they’re

Hiring hand models

Is to make sure

The models

Aren’t looking to, you know

Get in the shot

And so, sometimes

People will put on

Whatever it is they’re modeling

And sort of say--

‘Doesn’t this look nice?

Maybe you should take

A picture of my face

Or my, um, where you can see

The necklace

Or the shirt

Or whatever it is’

You’re not supposed

To ever do that

And there are people who do

Who then, um, they become known

As like, you don’t want work

With them

That’s why, when I’m on a job

I just keep my sunglasses on

And make it clear

That I know

What job

I am there to do

And, um,

People seem to appreciate that

The guy today

The one I was working for

He told me

That I was really professional

One of the best

He’s worked with

And I just nodded

I didn’t even answer him

Because I find that, like,

The less they get of you

The more they like you

And then you get rebooked

And my agent says

I get rebooked more than anyone

So that’s really exciting for me

And, like, my prospects

In the industry, I guess

This one girl though

She was really talkative

And for awhile

Nobody would work with her

And then this one photographer

He, uh, he just took a liking to her

And he would shoot

For other kinds of ads sometimes

And so he asked her

If she wanted to model

For this perfume

Just, do some shots

Because the agency handling the account

Asked if he could, like, come up with a concept

Or something like that

I’m not sure exactly how it happened

But it was all really unusual

In terms of how, like

One thing led to another

And, um, basically

She ended up becoming--

Like becoming a model

For more than just

Hand shoots

Um.

And it’s actually really bad

When that kind of thing happens

Because it makes other people think

Other hand models think, I mean

That what you need to do

Is what that girl did

Which is just really to, um, assert yourself

And talk and make an impression

And, like, ninety to a hundred percent

Of the time

They’re never looking for that

And you’ll get in so much trouble

If you’re this big personality

When they’re just looking for you

To come in

And stick your hands out

And get the shot

Like, it’s great that you have dreams

Or whatever

But you still have a job to do first

And so does everybody else there

And so if you’re going

To make it all about you

Then you’re just slowing everything down

And that’s really selfish of you

Because agencies and people

Spend a lot of money

Putting all these jobs together

And you don’t want them--

Like, they don’t need

To use hand models

They can just--

They can just leave the stuff

Sitting there on a table

Or a pedestal or whatever

And take a picture of it

They don’t need us

So I just get really mad

When people want you

To look at them

I never want anybody

To look at me

Like, you can pretend

I’m not even there

And I’ll be

Totally fine

With that