Our Shared Location

 

     (A restaurant. TOM and TRISH are having dinner.)

TOM:  I just don't know why we need to keep it on.

TRISH:  In case of an emergency.

TOM:  How does that help in case of an emergency?

TRISH:  Because I can track your phone.

TOM:  Track it to what? My corpse?

TRISH:  Don't say that! You could be kidnapped.

TOM:  So you'd trace it to the kidnapper?

TRISH:  Yes.

TOM:  Wouldn't the kidnapper throw out my phone?

TRISH:  Not if they're stupid.

TOM:  You think I'm going to be kidnapped by someone stupid?

TRISH:  Yeah, why not?

TOM:  Wouldn't that make me stupid?

TRISH:  Not necessarily.

TOM:  It just feels very invasive.

TRISH:  But it's equitable. You share your location with me, and I share mine with you.

TOM:  But I don't care where you go.

TRISH:  Tom!

TOM:  I care about you, but I also care about your freedom.

TRISH:  That's sweet, but like I said, it's a safety thing.

TOM:  Is it? Or is it that you don't think I actually know how to check shared location?

TRISH:  You know how to--

TOM:  Trish.

TRISH:  Okay, I know you don't know how to check it.

TOM:  And you do. So, see, it's not equitable.

TRISH:  It makes me feel better.

TOM:  Do you think I'm going to step out on you?

TRISH:  Step out on me? Did you time travel here from the 40's?

TOM:  You know what I mean.

TRISH:  No, Tom, I know you won't cheat.

TOM:  Thank you.

TRISH:  You're too boring to be a cheater.

TOM:  Thank--what?

TRISH:  I just like being able to check where you are.

TOM:  That's creepy.

TRISH:  It's not like you go anywhere. Half the time, you forget your phone at home.

TOM:  Then why track me?

TRISH:  It's just a routine now.

TOM:  Then get a new routine.

TRISH:  Like having a detective follow you?

TOM:  No.

TRISH:  Does it bother you that much?

TOM:  It just feels weird.

TRISH:  Then I'll stop.

TOM:  Really?

TRISH:  Yes.

     (A beat.)

TOM:  How will I know you've stopped?

TRISH:  Because I'm telling you I am.

TOM:  Yeah, but I'll never know how to check.

TRISH:  Do you want me to do it now? In front of you?

TOM:  No, I trust you.

TRISH:  Thank you.

     (A beat.)

TOM:  Separate from that--

TRISH:  I'll just do it now.

TOM:  Thank you.

TRISH:  Do you want me to change your password for you too?

TOM:  Why would I want that?

TRISH:  Because I could always just shared turn location back on the next time you leave your phone at home.

TOM:  Oh, in that case, yes.

TRISH:  Do I need to write the new password down for you somewhere you won't forget it?

TOM:  Which would be--

TRISH:  That drawer you always think your keys are in, but they never are, because they're always in your coat pocket?

TOM:  Yes.

TRISH:  Okay.

TOM:  Thanks, babe.

TRISH:  No problem. I know how important your independence is to you.

TOM:  It is.

     (A beat.)

TOM:  By the way, I think I forgot my--

TRISH:  I'll get dinner.

TOM:  Thanks.

    (He exhales.)

TOM:  I feel so much better.

      End of Play