A Series of French Bulldogs

There is a French bulldog

Who has very wrinkly skin

And is sitting on his hind legs

In front of what looks to be a castle

And he’s very grey, so grey that--

Oh dear, it appears

He’s a statue

He’s a statue of a French bulldog

And not a real French bulldog

My apologies

This French bulldog looks sad

But it’s possible he’s not sad

A lot of French bulldogs look sad

When they’re not sad

So it might be that this bulldog

Just appears sad and maybe if we look closer

We can see that it’s really smiling

And, Oh look!

It looks very fluffy and--

Oh dear

This French bulldog is a stuffed animal

It’s a sad stuffed animal

My apologies

Well, the next French bulldog

Is absolutely real

And looks very cheerful

It has a banana in its mouth

And it seems to be enjoying

The banana a great deal

I had no idea that French bulldogs

Enjoyed bananas, but it seems they do

And so we’ve learned a lot about--

Oh dear

This is not a French bulldog

It is a monkey

In a French bulldog costume

And it has deceived me

Oh I am very embarrassed

As this is not the first time

A monkey dressed as a French bulldog

Has fooled me

And I must do better

At recognizing the difference

Between a simian and a pooch

My apologies

This photo is definitely a dog though

And it’s definitely a bulldog

And he or she is very cute

And wearing a little bonnet

And I do love a dog in a bonnet

Because they look so old-timey

In a way that I quite--

Wait, wait

I’m sorry

I am so sorry

This is a bulldog

But not a French bulldog

It is a regular bulldog

And I had promised you

Nothing but French bulldogs

And now I am the one

Who has deceived you

Much like a monkey

In a French bulldog costume

I cannot apologize enough

For how poorly

This has all gone

And I would cancel the tour entirely

If your tickets were refundable

But they are not

So we must press on

Let’s see, uh, I’m sure

There must be an actual French bulldog

In here somewhere

Poodle

Poodle

Dolphin

Piece of cake

Oh!  This looks like a--

No, that’s another monkey

And this one’s costume

Is not nearly as convincing

As the last one

I guess there is no series

Of French bulldogs

And we’ll have to just imagine

The French bulldogs instead

In some ways

I suppose that’s better

Because then they can be

Whatever sort of French bulldogs we like

Sometimes imagining things

Is the best way of enjoying them

Because the real things

Are statues and stuffed animals

And mean monkeys

Who like to play pranks on you

Let’s close our eyes

And see all those French bulldogs

Oh, aren’t they lovely?

They’re just lovely

I’m telling you

I could sit here

And look at them

All day