I Hate to Travel and I Don’t Want to Visit

I just want you to know

That I am so happy

You have decided

To start a new chapter

In a new place

But I should tell you

That I have no intention

Of visiting you there

For a long time

When people would move

They would do that thing

Where they’d say--

You should come visit!

And I’d say--

Sure!

And then never go visit

Now that I’m a little older

I just embrace the fact

That I hate to travel

And I don’t want to visit

The way I look at it--

You’re doing what’s best for you

By leaving

And I’m doing what’s best for me

By staying

And even though it’s probably not

What’s best for me

It’s anxiety-inducing

Than moving or doing anything

So that’s fine for now

And visiting you

Doesn’t sound like anything

That’s going to be good for me

Since it’ll involve

Packing and airports

And figuring out where to eat

Once I get there

And you’ll recommend some place

That you like to eat

And it won’t be nice

It’ll be sort of dive-y

And you’ll be charmed by the fact

That it’s really dive-y

And I’ll just want to go somewhere nice

Because this is technically my vacation

Except it’s not

Because how could it be a vacation

When you and I are going to have be

Attached at the hip

The entire time I’m there

Whether or not either of us

Actually want that?

You’re going to have to

Come back here at some point, aren’t you?

Why don’t I just see you

When you come back?

We’ll get dinner

Or something

Or we won’t

Because you’ll probably come back
At a bad time for me

When you come back

It’ll be like a vacation for you

Except it’s very unlikely it’ll be a vacation for me

Because why would I go on vacation and stay here

Although, as we’ve already established

I don’t really want to go anywhere

But even then

If I go on vacation

I want to do nothing

Nothing at all

And you know what is not ‘nothing at all?’

Catching up

I cannot think of two scarier words

In the English language

Than ‘catching up’

I don’t need to catch up

We have social media

I know what you’re up to

And if I don’t

It’s because you haven’t been sharing it

With the world

And I’m the world

Anything you don’t want to tell

Total strangers online

You should probably not tell me either

Because I’m not good with private information

Because I always want to repeat it

To anyone who will listen

So I think, to recap

We should agree

That I will never come visit you

And that might be for the best

Because how are you going

To not miss me

Or this place

If I’m there

Reminding you how wonderful I am

And how much better it was

Where you were?

Better for me to be here

And you to be there

And the two of us

To send each other messages

Once a week

Where we make sure

That neither of us is dead

And maybe one day
When we’re old

If we get that far

We can go on a cruise together

And tell each other

That we regret not spending

More time together

When we were younger

And I’m sure we’ll believe it

When we say it

So you see?

We already have something

To look forward to