Christina Marks Doesn't Mind

Do you remember the last time
Someone was mad at you?

Of course you do

Everybody would remember that

I don't

Isn't that strange?

I couldn't tell you
The last time someone
Actually showed anger towards me

At least on an individual level

On a larger level
A surreal level of anger
That crazy otherworldly anger
Where you see yourself
On the cover of US Weekly
Being called a whore
By someone you used to date...

Well, I get that more often

But that I can handle
Because it's so...
It's so not near me
You know?

It's so far away
It might as well be someone else

Celebrity reporters and--
What do you call them?
Pundits?

Talking about me

Having the late night comics
Cracking jokes about me

I mean, those things can be hurtful
It's not easy to hurt me
But I can be hurt
I have been hurt

But as far as someone being mad...

I can't remember the last time
Someone didn't return one of my phone calls

I can't remember the last time
Someone yelled at me

I can't remember the last time
Someone actually spoke an unflattering adjective
In my presence
In reference to me

Isn't that strange?

A lot of being a movie star
Is stuff you can imagine

The movies, for the most part
Get it right

It's glamorous
It's annoying
It's amazing
It's isolating

Blah, blah, blah

The thing they don't tell you
Is that people
Stop being mad at you

Because people
Because everybody
Wants something from you

I mean, basically
Isn't that the reason
That people get mad at you in the first place?

It's because they wanted something from you
And you didn't give them what they wanted
Or because they've determined
That you can never give them what they want
So why bother being nice to you anymore?

That's never the case with me

I have things people want

I have money
I have attention
I have power

And as far as I can tell
Though my star has taken a hit recently
Due to an unfortunate incident
Involving kissing another girl
And doing so while topless--

Well, as far as I can tell,
I'll still have all those things
For at least a few more years

So nobody gets mad

So then what happens?

I try to make people mad

I say mean things
I act like a bitch
I challenge people's kindness

Just to see
Just to see if I can get them to say--

'To Hell with it! I don't care who she is! She can't be that way!'

But nobody does

And it makes me think of my mom
My mom was a big yeller
Big fan of yelling
And she would say--

'I yell because I love you! Because I care!'

And all I can think
When nobody gets mad
When they're basically refusing
To get mad

Is that they don't care about me
They probably ARE mad
But they won't say anything
Because they want me to like them

Which is so messed up
Because I like people who've gotten mad at me
I mean, I don't really like my mother
But I like other people who've gotten mad at me
I don't cut people off for that

And I really wouldn't mind
If they decided to yell at me
Or whatever

I really wouldn't mind
At all