George Washington Makes Conversation While Crossing the Delaware

...The thing about John is that his boots are always dirty.

Constantly

I don't know what he does
That gets those boots so dirty

I say to him, John
You can't expect anybody in Congress to listen to you
If you have dirty boots

Clean footwear is very important
When determining whether or not
A man's political leanings are sound
Wouldn't you say?

My goodness, you're rowing hard

I'd help
But I suffered this wrist injury
A few months back
While I was chopping down a...

...a, uh...this...house...that was...ugly...

It was empty
It was an empty house
That nobody owned
So I just...chopped it down

Which is, you know, sort of a civic duty

I might ask the Congress to make a law about that

'It shall be so that all ugly houses are cut down...

...and clean your boots.'

Might as well throw that in there

You can do that, you know

If you want a law passed
That might be unpopular
You just stick it to a law
That people want to have passed
And then they say--

'Well, if we want that one, we gotta pass the other one'

You'd think they'd try to just pass part of the law
But you can't do that
So they pass both

Politics is sort of fascinating that way

Hey, let me ask you an honest question--

Do you think having the horses on the boat
Is a good idea?

I'm sort of on the fence about it

I realize we didn't have much of a choice
But I keep worrying they're going to go crazy
And jump into the water
And then there'll be frozen horses
Just floating along the Delaware

Do you think horses understand the concept
Of hypothermia?

If I were to put my hand in the water for a bit
Then put it up to his face
Do you think he'd get it?

Or would he just try to eat my hand?

Have we been feeding these horses?

I realize we haven't been feeding you men
But I'm not as worried about you eating my hand
Because your mouths aren't as big

Don't you get tired from all that rowing?

I'm getting tired just looking at you

Is that guy done painting my portrait yet?

I'm kind of getting tired of standing like this

Plus, it's cold

Did we bring blankets?

We didn't put the disease-ridden blankets
With the good blankets, did we?

We're saving the diseased ones for the enemy
The good ones are for us

We labeled all that stuff, right?

That's why I brought the labels

Okay, I need to sit down
Maybe have a little snack

Jeremiah, come stand in my place
We look similar enough
I doubt it'll affect the portrait

Besides, you have a nicer chin than I do

Ah, feels good to relax for a bit

So...

Anybody feel like playing a game?

No?

Nobody?

All right then

Never let it be said
That I didn't try to raise the morale
Of my men