I Kinda Like the Guy in My Bed

I kinda like the guy in my bed

Last night he told me
Some stupid joke
And I laughed

I never laugh at jokes

It was something about a turtle
And how he has a crush
On a nun

Or wait, maybe it was a nun
And a genie
Riding the subway together

I can't remember

Then he danced with me
And he said he liked me

And he did, he liked me
And I liked him too

My friend Chrissy
She just started dating this guy
And she says they're dating
Because they enjoy each other's company
And the sex is good

She said it like that's all there is to it

Good company and good sex

I told her with tits like hers
The company should always be good
And the sex should be even better

She doesn't like when I'm crass
But I don't like listening to her go on
About how she's not getting any younger
And neither am I
And we both gotta settle down
Before the music stops
And there aren't any chairs left

Well, screw that

I'm going to be with people who like me
Not just people who enjoy conversing with me
And know what to do
Once the clothing's off

I want someone to dance with me
And look at me
Like I'm marvelous
Because fuck if I ain't

I'm a goddamn Alaskan sunrise
When I wanna be
And you can go ahead
And stop that music
Because I'm not sitting
'Til I'm good and ready

That guy in my bed
May not be as good a boyfriend
As Chrissy's is

But he was crazy about me
And even if he wakes up
And that's all gone

I still got one more night of feeling special
Than Chrissy's gonna get
For the rest of her whole life

And I got a few other things too

So I'll let Chrissy have her company
While I go make mine
Some breakfast

Let's see how he turns out

Either way
It was one hell of a night