The Oreo Bribe

Jody, I want you to listen to me very carefully

Now, I know you went shopping with Mommy today
And I know there were lots of sales at lots of stores
And you and Mommy were gone for a very, very, very long time
And I know Mommy says that's because you went to the park
But Daddy...

Daddy thinks sometimes Mommy says things
So Daddy won't get angry
Even though he wouldn't get angry
If Mommy would just say other things that are more...uh...true

Now

Did you go to the park with Mommy?

I realize that at your age time is a relative concept
But I need you to think really hard

Here's a picture of the park

Parrrrrrk?

Mommmmyyyy?

Noooooo?

Okay, I can see she's already gotten to you

Which is why I brought these Oreos

Jody loooooves Oreos, right?

Num nums?

Yessssssss

Now...

That little bag from Macy's that Mommy brought into the house
With lipstick in it

That wasn't Mommy's only bag, was it?

Noooooo?

Noooooo

I didn't think so

Oreo for Jody!

See?  It's like a game!

A game for Daddy and Jody
But not Mommy
Because Mommy doesn't always tell the truth

And telling the truth is a good thing to do
Because Mommies and Daddies have to act
The way they want their kids to act, right Jody?

Riiiight

Now, let's find out more stuff about Mommy's day
So you can get more cookies
Before dinner

Did Mommy take out the shiny card
From her wallet?

The card that Daddy gave to her
In case of emergencies?

C'mon Jody...

I think I saw Mommy take brussel spouts out of the freezer and--

That's a good girl

Here's an Oreo

Now, let's try for TWO Oreos!

That dent in Daddy's car
That Mommy said was there

Was that there?

Or did Mommy hit something

BANG BANG!

Do you remember a BANG BANG?

Twoooo cookies...

Yessssss

What a good girl you're being for Daddy
While Mommy's out at the soup kitchen helping--

What?

You're shaking your head

Is she--

Is there a sale at the outlets?

Jody, Daddy might need to take you for a little trip
To the supermarket
Before Mommy gets home

We're going to need more cookies