Prozac

You know what I do sometimes?

I pretend I'm on Prozac

I've never been on Prozac
I have no idea what Prozac actually feels like
But, to be honest
I have noticed
That when I tell people I'm on Prozac
I get away with a lot more

It's really sort of incredible
You should try it sometime

It's a little bit like when you go to a party
And tell people you're drunk
So that you can act like a moron
And the next day everybody forgives you
Because you said you were drunk
When really you weren't drunk at all

Oh, you've never done that either?

Well, that's too bad
You should try that too

You really haven't lived
Until you've pretended to be
Under the influence
Of various stimulants
Or de-stimulants
Or whatever

Don't get me wrong
I would never actually take anything

Just the thought of it
Makes me anxious

Then I pretend I'm on Xanax
And the anxiety goes away

See how easy that is?

Nobody challenges it
Nobody wonders whether or not you're lying

Because they think to themselves
Why would anybody lie
About being medicated?

You're supposed to be ashamed
About being medicated
Except I'm not

Because I am a child
Of the present

And the present
Is all about
Not
Being present

So I check out
Except not really

Really, I keep an eye on things

And meanwhile
People underestimate me
They second guess me

They mock me
Right to my face

And they say--

--looking right at me--

'Don't worry.  Prozac.'

As if that's my name

And if I'm being honest

It's not such a bad name

Actually, I could do
A lot worse