Briggs

(A bedroom.  BRIGGS is in bed.  THOMAS is laying next to him.)

THOMAS:  Can you believe this heatwave?

BRIGGS:  (A little perturbed.)  Yeah, I know, it's...yeah.

THOMAS:  They say it's going to be seventy tomorrow.

BRIGGS:  Wow, seventy.  Wow.

THOMAS:  Global warming, right?

BRIGGS:  Damn those...factories.

THOMAS:  Did you see all those shirtless guys out tonight when we were on our way home to watch Chopped?  Sweat pouring down their bodies--

BRIGGS:  Yup.  Yeah, I definitely caught...all that.

THOMAS:  Right in the beginning of January.  A heatwave.  Who would have thought?

BRIGGS:  Certainly not me.

THOMAS:  Well, one nice thing about the heat?  We can sleep naked.

(He kisses BRIGGS.  BRIGGS pulls away.)

BRIGGS:  Uh, I just got pajamas for Christmas, so--

THOMAS:  Um, I knoooow.  Who do you think bought them for you?

BRIGGS:  You did.

THOMAS:  And I am?

BRIGGS:  And you are?

THOMAS:  Your...?

BRIGGS:  My...?

THOMAS:  Boyfriend, silly!

BRIGGS:  Right, yeah, my--yeah.

THOMAS:  Are you okay?

BRIGGS:  Yeah, I'm--yeah.  It's just...um, Thomas--

THOMAS:  Yeah?

BRIGGS:  When we started dating--

THOMAS:  The most amazing moment of my life.

BRIGGS:  Right, yeah--that.  Um, it was November.  Early November.

THOMAS:  Autumn in New York.  Nothing better than that.

BRIGGS:  Riiiiight.  Such a romantic, and...cold--a cold time--it was...getting colder.  People were staying in more, not going out as much, bundling up--

THOMAS:  And we found each other.

BRIGGS:  Yes, we did, and it was such a relief, because, you know, who wants to be out looking for a hookup when it's thirty degrees out.

THOMAS:  Well, I was never really out looking for a hookup.

BRIGGS:  Right, no, you weren't.  And neither was I, but, uh, what I'm saying is that--I think, some of us, were under the impression, that it was going to be a few months before things warmed up again.

THOMAS:  Okay...

BRIGGS:  And so there was a sort of...social hibernation, if you will.

THOMAS:  What do you mean?

BRIGGS:  I mean, people were kind of--pairing up?  You know?  To have someone to, uh, make it through the cold winter nights with--

THOMAS:  And then the cooler spring nights and then the warm summer nights--

BRIGGS: Welllllll, moreso the first one than the other two.

THOMAS:  Briggs, I don't know what you're getting at here.

BRIGGS:  What I'm getting at is...uh, gosh, this is tough, uh--See, if I had known that we were basically going to get another two to three months of winter, I might not have, uh, blindly jumped into this relationship so quickly--

THOMAS:  Blindly jumped?

BRIGGS:  Well, dove--took a dive--that's probably more--

THOMAS:  Wait, are you saying you made a mistake dating me because you could have had a few more months of meaningless sex before you had to lock yourself away for the winter?

(A beat.)

BRIGGS:  No?

THOMAS:  So what?  You want to break up?

BRIGGS:  No!  I want to, uh, take a break!  That's all.

THOMAS:  Until when?

BRIGGS:  Well, uh, March?  Like March to--in March we can, you know--or maybe in February?  Late February?  Maybe we can play it by ear?

THOMAS:  So when it gets cold again, you want to get back together?

BRIGGS:  I mean, I don't think we need to get that specific about it, but--

THOMAS:  And then will you be done sewing your whore oats?

BRIGGS:  Uh, well--Yes.  I mean, until, like, May when we'd have to reexamine what we have here--

THOMAS:  Oh my God.

BRIGGS:  Unless it's a chilly May, in which case, let's buckle down and really give this relationship thing a try--for a month.

THOMAS:  I'm leaving.

(He gets out of bed.)

Maybe I can still catch one of those shirtless guys on the street and have him keep me company tonight.

BRIGGS:  Ouch.  That's cold.

(A beat.)

See what I did there?

THOMAS:  Go to hell, Briggs.

(THOMAS exits.)

BRIGGS:  (Calling after him.)  So we're going to table this until March then?

(Lights.)