Swim

I never knew

What I was supposed to do

On a warm Sunday night

I had them

Put them in the pool

Because I wanted to

Invite people over

To sit by the pool

Go for a swim

And just do nothing

I found a place

With a nice view

And I’d invite people over

And we’d talk about

How beautiful the view was

And people would come over

And I’d serve them drinks

And sometimes they’d stay the night

And sometimes lots of people

Would stay the night

And I’d go to bed

On Sunday

And my house

This big house

Would be full of people

And on those nights

It felt like

I beat back the loneliness

That I’d felt my whole life

But then…

You wake up

On Monday morning

And your house is a pigsty

And you have all these…

Empty bottles

All over your house

There are people sleeping

Everywhere

And you want to throw them all out

But you don’t want to be inhospitable

And you’re wondering

Why you were so happy

To have them there

Just the night before

And why you’re a totally different person now?

Is it possible

We like being lonely

On a Monday morning?

That we need to be

Or something--

Something doesn’t feel right?

So you make breakfast

For everybody

Because you’re nice and you--

Okay, that’s a lie

You order breakfast

For everyone

You don’t make it

But everyone eats it

The donuts and the coffee

And then they leave

And then you get to work

And it takes a few days

Before you want to see people again

Before you…

Feel that need

To be around others

And have them

Fill up your house

But Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday

Those are all days

You’re fine being on your own

Even when the weather is nice

Even when the pool

Is just sitting there

Waiting for someone

To come swim in it

Sundays are always

The hardest

Because no matter

How anti-social you might be

That’s the day

You feel off

Unless you ask a bunch of strangers

Who call themselves your friends

To come over

And take a dip

One of them

Looked at me last week

And complimented the house

And my, uh, how did she put it--

My outstanding taste

I told her

The house was decorated that way

When I bought it

And I never got around

To redecorating

Because I didn’t think

I’d be living in it that long

I don’t know

Who lived here before

But I was the one

Who had them tear out

The old pool

And put in the new one

A new pool

Shaped like a square

Instead of a circle

I never liked circles

I’m not really sure

Why