We used to joke
About imaginary people
You’d bring up
That woman we don’t like
And I’d make fun of her
Do her voice
The way she talks
And she wasn’t real
And you didn’t know
What I was doing
And you’d laugh
Because you were just so happy
To find me so happy
When so often
You’d find me...
Elsewhere
You used to complain
About the man
We saw once
At that restaurant
We didn't like
Yelling at the waiter
He was real
The man--and the waiter
But not real
The man--not the waiter
He wasn't real
Because all we knew about him
--The man
Was that he was a man
Who yelled at a waiter one time
But for years
We would bring him up
And lambaste him
Coral him into our corner
Of obscenities
And throw things
At each other
Saying it was all
Meant
For him
That it really
Had nothing to do
With us
The couple who slept
Next door to us
At that campsite
The one time
We tried to go camping
Became our best friends
And we’d talk
About finding them somehow
Even though
We didn’t know their names
We told ourselves
That one day
We’d track them down
And convince them
That we should do things together
Couple things together
But no more camping
Because that didn’t
Work out so well, did it?
There were the two young girls
We saw running
Down the beach
That summer you made us
Take care of your mother
They could have been our daughters
If we had decided to have kids
And if those kids had been daughters
And if you hadn't started getting angry
For no reason at all
And then if we split up
Those imaginary daughters
Could have been divided as well
But our divorce would have been amicable
Even though our relationship never was
I would’ve wanted the daughter
With the lighter hair
She seemed kind
But I don’t know her
...And I guess that’s kind of the point
You would tell jokes
About people you went to high school with
Even though you were home-schooled
And your mother told me one day
While I was giving her a bath
That you didn’t have any friends
But none of it was a lie
Because we agreed
They were stories
And we both knew
They were false
And that all stories
Are false
Even the ones
You can agree on
Our stories were created
To make us feel better
About how infrequently
We spoke with other people
Or addressed other people
Or even made ourselves
Look at other people
Or even…
Or even each other
I made up an imaginary woman
I would leave you for
She wasn’t as nice to me
As you were
And in fact
She was really very mean
And called me ugly
And she spit on me once
And I used to shower
And think about her
And so...so strongly desire…
Something
I wasn’t interested
In being treated badly
I just wanted
Something
But I wanted to see
How bad I could make
My nightmares
Until they stopped seeming
Preferable
To my actual
Life
Then I’d get out of the shower
And you’d be on the computer
Telling me about
How you think
You might have found
That couple from the campsite
And maybe if you messaged them
And they messaged you back
We could all get dinner
Provided they weren’t millions of miles away
I told you that was nice
And I went into the bedroom
And I opened up all the windows
And I threw the towel out one of the windows
And I laid down on the bed
And I tried to breathe deep
Deeply, deeply
I tried to think
Of what to do next
And I couldn’t imagine
What that next thing
Could be
