Saturday, December 28, 2019

The Wheel of Fortune Writers Room

     (The Writers Room)

WRITER:  What about 'That's What You Think?'

WRITER 2:  Under what?  Phrase?

WRITER:  Yeah.

WRITER 2:  We need more People, Places, and Things.

WRITER:  Okay, but can we table that one for when we need a Phrase?

WRITER 2:  We have a lot of phrases.

WRITER 3:  How about 'The Deli?'

WRITER 2:  For a place?

WRITER 3:  Yeah.

WRITER 2:  Too short.

WRITER:  They won't make any money off that.

WRITER 3:  How much money do we want them to make?

WRITER 2:  We want them to make something.  'The Deli' is--that'll take two spins.  Three tops.

WRITER 3:  I think it being short is what makes it challenging.

WRITER:  But it can't be too short.

WRITER 3:  What about 'The Hospital?'

WRITER 2:  That's...kind of simplistic.

WRITER 3:  Are we writing a novel or coming up with words for a game show?

WRITER 2:  We still need to put in an effort.

WRITER 3:  The Children's Hospital?

WRITER:  Depressing.

WRITER 3:  The Pediatric Hospital.

WRITER 2:  People know what 'pediatric' means.

WRITER:  Not the people on our show, but--

WRITER 3:  'Surgical Wing?'

WRITER 2:  I don't hate that for a place.

WRITER:  Have we ever done 'True Believers?'

WRITER 2:  Under what?  People?

WRITER 3:  That's very conceptual.

WRITER:  You're just mad I shot down your idea.

WRITER 2:  Look, we can use everything eventually so there's no reason to get all worked up.

WRITER:  Okay.

WRITER 2:  Except 'True Believers.'  We'll never use that.

WRITER:  Why not?

WRITER 2 and 3:  It's too conceptual.

WRITER:  It's not a--I mean, it IS a concept, but--

WRITER 2:  If we ever have a category called 'Concepts' on the show--

WRITER 3:  Which we won't.

WRITER 2:  --We can do it then.

WRITER:  What about 'Friends?'

WRITER 2:  Under 'Television Show' or 'People?'

WRITER 3:  That has to be too short.

WRITER 2:  It's not too short for 'Television Show' just 'People.'

WRITER:  Then...'People' I guess?

WRITER 2:  That'll work.

WRITER 3:  Come on!

WRITER 2:  You should be working on 'Before and After.'

WRITER 3:  All I can come up with is 'I'll Be Back to the Future.'

WRITER 2:  It doesn't roll off the tongue.

WRITER 3:  Of course it doesn't roll off the tongue.  It's 'Before and After' not 'Phrase.'

WRITER:  You should give me 'Before and After.'

WRITER 3:  No!  I do 'Before and After.'  You do 'Famous People.'

WRITER:  I don't know anything about 'Famous People.'

WRITER 3:  You don't know ANY 'Famous People?'

WRITER:  Not any with weird names.

WRITER 2:  They don't need to be weird.  They just need to be challenging to spell.

WRITER:  Timothee Chalamet?

WRITER 2:  I like that.

WRITER 3:  Do people know who he is?

WRITER 2:  He's been in--

WRITER 3:  Do people who watch Wheel of Fortune know who he is?

WRITER 2:  The people who watch this show aren't stupid.

WRITER 3:  It's Hangman.  It's a televised version of Hangman.

WRITER 2:  Just because it's not, you know, that other show--

WRITER and WRITER 3:  Jeopardy.

WRITER 2:  That doesn't mean it has no merit.

WRITER:  How about Justin Trudeau?

WRITER 2:  They won't know who that is.

WRITER 3:  They won't know who the Prime Minister of Canada is but you think they'll know the guy from Call Me By Your Name?

WRITER 2:  It's a fine balance.

WRITER:  I wanted to write for Atlantic Monthly.  I had dreams.

WRITER 3:  Atlantic Monthly was your dream?

WRITER:  One of them.

WRITER 2:  Atlantic Monthly.  That's great.  What is that?  A magazine?  We could make 'Magazines' a category.

WRITER 3:  Probably better to use Vanity Fair.

WRITER 2:  The New Yorker.

WRITER:  Us Weekly.  Oh god, even I'm doing it now.

WRITER 2:  By the way, we haven't used an 'X' in awhile.  Gotta get on that.

WRITER:  How about 'X Marks the Spot.'

WRITER 2:  Don't be cute.  I mean, be cute, but not clever.  Got it?

WRITER:  Got it.

WRITER 3:  Do you think they're having this much fun over at Jeopardy?

     (The End)

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