Friday, July 17, 2020

The Questions to Ask If You’re Not Sure If He’s Willing to Cheat on His Comatose Wife

How much did you love your wife

Before she slipped into a coma?


Did you like her hairstyle?
Did you like her voice?
Did she have a nice voice?

Did she hum?
Was she a hummer?

Did the humming ever

Get on your nerves

Assuming she was

A hummer?


What was your marriage like?

Was it monogamous?
Was it old-fashioned?
Was it tied to societal norms

About what love and commitment

Look like?


Would your wife

Want you to be alone?

Would she want you

Eating alone?

Watching television

Alone?


Facing the enormity of life

Alone?


Or would she want you

To be happy

While she lays there

Looking beautiful

And yet unable

To sit with you

On a Sunday night

Forgetting what weekly show

You tune into

So you have something

To talk about

At work the next day?


Did your wife bite her nails?
Are you aware

That her nails appear

To have been nibbled on?


Did that bother you?

Do you know

That it’s a disgusting habit

And though it doesn’t mean

She’s a bad person

It does mean

That her cuticle hygiene

Is probably

Catastrophic?


Have you been fantasizing

About her nurses?

Do you have nurse

Fantasies?


Do you know that

I thought about

Becoming a nurse

Before I became a doctor

But then my brother

Became a doctor

And because

I’ve always felt

Competitive

With him

I felt I had to become

A doctor as well

Even though

Being a nurse

Would have suited

My personality

Much more?


Do you know that your wife

Only has an eighty percent chance

Of coming out

Of this medically induced

Coma?


Should she fall

In the twenty percent

Are you prepared

To move on

With your life?

Do you feel like

This has been

The longest

Four days

Of your life?


Do you feel like

You can’t imagine

Another four days

Like this

And would you like

To contact a judge

Who can dissolve

Your marriage

So you can move on

With your life

And marry an eligible doctor

With an annoying brother

Who thinks buying your parent’s

A beach house

For their fiftieth anniversary

Without telling you

Is not inconsiderate?


Do you want to give me

Answers

To these questions
Over coffee

In the hospital

Cafeteria?

Do you know that

I would suggest

A coffeeshop

But I can’t

Because I have to be on call

In case

Your wife

Wakes up?


Do you think

That’s her

Subconsciously

Standing in the way

Of your happiness?


Do you know

I have to monitor her

Due to the slim chance

The slim

Eighty percent chance

That she’ll wake up

Before you can get

A divorce

And end the loveless marriage

To a nail-biting hummer

That you’re trapped in?


And do you know why

I’m willing

To stay close to her

Even though

It’s preventing me

From connecting

With my soulmate?


Because I

Am a very

Good

Doctor

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