I feel great
I’ve never felt better
And you want me
To stop making SOUP?
I love soup
Don’t be ridiculous
I’ll make soup until I die
You don’t even know
What makes
People sick
It could be anything
It could be bugs
It could be mice
It could be witches
You’re in the dark
On this one
I’ll tell you what it isn’t though
It is not
Magical little invisible balls
That fall off my head
Into my soup
Aren’t you supposed
To be a SCIENTIST?
A doctor?
Same thing
All hooey
Hooey and frick-a-frack
That’s what my mother
Used to say
When she wasn’t
Beating me
With her shrimp ladle
She’d yell ‘Hooey’
Anytime some fancy man
Showed up at her door
Asking why all her children
Were covered in lice
‘Lice is good for ‘em’
She’d say
Letting the dog
Lick the batter bowl clean
‘It builds up their immunity!’
I’ve got the best immunity
You’ve ever seen
In your life
The other day
Frank the Chicken Plucker
Sneezed right in my mouth
And I haven’t had
So much as a sniffle
I’m as healthy
As an Irish splinter-picker
And twice as precise
And you think
I’m getting people
SICK?
Shame on you
Dr. Scientist
I should beat you to death
But I can’t
Because then I’ll work up a sweat
And sweat doesn’t go into the soup
Until after it’s finished
It’s third simmer
If you want to know
Why people are getting sick
I’ll give you the Dublin Catholic reason
Provided you can stand
To hear it
NOBODY’S SCARED OF JESUS
NO MORE
There, that’s your answer
And the reason
I’m fit as a Protestant
As they’re screwing
Their wife’s brother
Is because nobody
Fears the Lord
More than me
I walk by a church
And I get overcome
By stomach troubles
By the time I get to work
I’m practically expiring my bowels
From all ends
And I usually don’t settle down
Until after I’ve finished
Making the entrees
That’s how I know
I don’t have any illness
And I’ll thank you
To show yourself out
And don’t darken
This door
Again
The soup’s almost ready
And I got some sweating
To do
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