The Subway Inspector

The Subway Inspector

Rides the subway

And gives it

A rating

The subway heading

Over to the north side

Was very upset

Because the Subway Inspector

Gave it a low rating

For excessive rumbling

Through Tunnels 3 & 8

The subway tried

Explaining to the Subway Inspector

That those tunnels are too small

And so it needs to hug the track

And that’s where the rumbling comes from

But the Subway Inspector can’t be bothered

With explanations

For why things are

The way they are

The Subway Inspector

Is there to give a rating

That accurately describes

Rider experience

And how the subway

Can improve itself

If a tunnel is too small

The subway can take it up

With the Tunnel Department

And they will proceed

To do nothing at all

Until a new Mayor is installed

And then promises will be made

About enlarging the tunnels

Those promises

Will never be kept

But the subways

And their collective morale

Will raise for a few weeks

And the rumbling

Will be less noticeable

The Subway Inspector

Gives the subway

Heading to the west side

A stellar rating

But everyone knows

That the Subway Inspector

Favors the west side route

And it’s really not fair

Because the tracks

Leading to the west side

Are smooth and carved

Like porcelain

The Subway Inspector

Firmly believes

That they do not play favorites

But they admit

That they prefer riding

The west side line

But the other subways

Should use the west side line

As something

To aspire to

The south side route

Has a different inspector

Who the Subway Inspector
Does not care for

Because he gives high ratings

To all the subways

In and out of the south side

And while the Subway Inspector

Never rides the south side routes

They have a hard time imagining

That the routes are as tremendous

As the other inspector describes

One afternoon

The Subway Inspector

Was riding to the east side

And was surprised to realize

That they were enjoying the ride

More than usual

The east side route

Is known to have a few bumps

And hard turns

And the subways that go

To and from the east side

Complain about their ratings 

To the Subway Inspector’s supervisor

And the supervisor assures them
That a conversation will be had

About the ratings

But there’s never a conversation

Because the Subway Inspector

Is never wrong

About their ratings

And their supervisor knows it

But today’s ride is fluid

And continuous

And the Subway Inspector

Understands that this ride

Will be getting a very high rating

Perhaps one of the highest ratings

They’ve ever given

To a subway

And the happiness

They find

In knowing

That they’re about

To make the subway they’re on

Very happy

Illustrates to them

What that other inspector must feel

When they give high ratings

To the south side routes

Imagine feeling this way all the time,

They think to themselves

They couldn’t begin

To think about

How it must be

Feeling that way

All

The time