There Are No Rules When You Meet The Queen

There are no rules

When you meet

The Queen

You shouldn’t look

The Queen

Directly in the eye

But that isn’t a rule

That’s just something

We would advise you

Not to do

But if you’d like to do it

You’re welcome to

And we’re sure

She won’t take offense

And send you to the Tower

We’re pretty sure

We’re fairly sure

So, you know

Use your good judgment

And do what you like

Because there are no rules

You can call her

Whatever you like

Your Highness

Your Royal Highness

Yo Lady with the Crown

Anything you like

Go right ahead

Enjoy yourself

Will she behead you?

Of course she probably won’t

Maybe not behead you

She’s got lots to do

And she can’t be concerned

With what people may do

Wrong or right

When they’re presented

To her

And it doesn’t matter

Because there is no right or wrong

When you’re meeting the Queen

You can do whatever you like

And probably make it out alive

Because we don’t make rules

About meeting the Queen

It’s all very casual

And comfortable

And you can say

Whatever you like

And hug her

Or shake her hand

Or kiss her on the cheek

And I’m sure

She won’t have your entire family

Imprisoned

There’s no reason to think

That you have to watch yourself

Very carefully around her

Because she’s just a human

She’s a regular human

There is no part of her

That is made of either metal

Or alien parts

Not at all

She cannot break you in half

Using nothing but her bare hands

Just because you laugh

In her presence

Where would you get the idea

That she could shoot laser beams

From her eyes

If you sneeze while meeting her?

Why would you ever assume

That the Queen

Has the time

To turn you into a life-sized

Human doll

And force you

To live in a giant dollhouse

In the country

Where she will only come visit you

Twice a year?

You have quite

The imagination on you

But yes, do whatever you like

Be formal

Don’t be formal

Be terrified

Don’t be terrified

It is a great honor

To meet

One of the most important

Leaders in world history

That has never actually

Legislated anything

Or really made any kind

Of difference in anyway

But, in general

When meeting anyone

As rich as the Queen

You should always

Keep on your toes

Not because it’s a rule

Just because

It’s good manners

If there’s one thing

We believe in

Here in Britain

It’s manners