What the Hell Could Be Making That Noise in the Dishwasher?

What the hell

Could be making

That noise

In the dishwasher?

All that’s in there--

All that’s in there

Is, uh, two plates

Some knives

And that mysterious box

That my grandfather left to me

In his will

We pulled it out of

His house

Right before

That sinkhole

Filled with fire

Swallowed it up

Well, it was so filthy

We had to give it

A good wash

So it seemed like

The easiest way

To go about it

Was to just toss it

In the dishwasher

It wasn’t a big box

It was pretty, uh--

It was pretty petite

I was a little concerned

Because of all the etchings

Carved into the sides of it

There are all these

Cute little pictures

Of a bunch of people
With goat heads

Cutting open

Another human

And it looks like

Demons are flying out

Of where the open wound is

And wow, ancient medicine, huh?

So interesting

I had no idea

My grandfather was interested

In old-timey surgery

When we were children

He was always making us

Put on small robes

And chant old prayers

And every so often

One of us would grow a horn

On the side of our head

But it would always disappear

Before our parents came

To pick us up

And gosh

We sure did have fun

Poking each other

With our horns

And rubbing lamb’s blood

All over my grandfather’s

Ceremonial knives

And speaking of knives!

Should I take the knives

Out of the dishwasher?

Maybe the knives

Are what’s making

All the noise?

I don’t want the knives

To pierce the box

I dropped it

When I was carrying it

Out of my grandfather’s house

And it stubbed my toe

And then my toe

Fell off

Grew little feet of its own

And ran away

But then where my toe was

There grew what looked like a vine?

I know I should be worried

But stuff like this

Used to happen

All the time

When I was a kid

I’ll just rub some of the ointment on it

I took a bunch from my grandfather’s lab

And it works wonders

Grandfather was something

Of an amateur scientist

And a taxidermist

He had a full-on moose

Right in the middle

Of his living room

And if you got close to it

You can almost hear

What sounds like

Someone inside the moose

Begging to be set free

And speaking of begging

Can someone PLEASE

Figure out what that sound is

In the dishwasher?

Maybe we need

A new dishwasher

As soon as I’m done
Washing that mysterious box

I’m going to look into

Getting a brand new dishwasher

Now that I think about it

I can’t think

Of what else

It could be