This Might Be Broth

      (Three cavemen sitting around a fire eating dinner.)

KRORG:  Blerg, this is delicious.

BLERG:  Thanks.

SPLANG:  And it's just water. I can't believe it.

BLERG:  Well, it's not quite water.

KRORG:  What do you mean? We're drinking it. It's water.

SPLANG:  Is it Big Hole water? Did you get it from the Big Hole where all the water is? Because you can just call that water.

KRORG:  But that's not the same as Down It Comes water.

SPLANG:  But Down It Comes Water ends up in the Big Hole, so it's all Big Hole Water.

BLERG:  This is neither.

     (A moment.)

SPLANG  Then, where is it from?

BLERG:  Well, it started as Big Hole Water.

SPLANG:  Just say water.

KRORG:  Splang.

BLERG:  And then I threw some meat into it.

     (A moment.)

KRORG:  You threw meat in it?

BLERG:  Yup.

SPLANG:  What kind of...meat?

BLERG:  You know the meat we normally throw out?

KRORG and SPLANG:  Yes.

BLERG:  I used that.

SPLANG:  You mean to tell me this water had bad meat in it?

BLERG:  No, the meat isn't bad.

KRORG:  Yes, it is, Blerg. That's why we don't eat it.

BLERG:  There's nothing wrong with it. It just doesn't taste as good as the other meat.

SPLANG:  And so you decided to add WATER to it?

BLERG:  I poured water over it and threw some vegetables in--

SPLANG:  So you made a meal, but with bad meat, and then you poured water over it?

KRORG:  Ruining the meal even further.

BLERG:  No. You just said it's delicious.

SPLANG:  I developed an opinion without enough information.

KRORG:  I...also did that.

SPLANG:  Now I feel sick!

BLERG:  You're fine.

SPLANG:  I'm revolted!

BLERG:  You're still eating your broth.

SPLANG:  What's broth?

BLERG:  It's what you're eating right now. I named it broth.

KRORG:  You should name it Gross Water.

BLERG:  You have to admit that the flavor is off the charts. I don't know what charts are, but once they're invented, this will be off them.

SPLANG:  So the bad meat and the vegetables were just sitting in water?

BLERG:  And then I put it all over the fire.

KRORG and SPLANG:  Ohhhhhhhhhhh.

SPLANG:  Is that why it's so warm?

BLERG:  Yes. Putting something over heat is usually how you warm something up.

KRORG:  I didn't know you heated the Gross Water. No wonder it tastes good.

SPLANG:  If you put anything over the fire, it tastes better.

KRORG:  Remember when we didn't used to put ANY of the meat over the fire and then all those people died in horrific pain?

SPLANG:  Except for the Water Meat. That was pretty good even without the fire.

KRORG:  Yeah, but you had to cut it just right.

BLERG:  So you're saying you like the broth now?

SPLANG:  I guess so. It does taste really good, and you can't tell this water ever touched bad meat.

BLERG:  There are little chunks of it floating in the--

KRORG:  Great. Now you ruined it.

SPLANG:  You had to ruin it, didn't you, Blerg?

BLERG:  But I put salt in it too?

KRORG and SPLANG:  Ohhhhhh.

SPLANG:  There's salt in this?

KRORG:  That makes a big difference.

BLERG:  I feel like you're going back and forth on this a lot?

SPLANG:  Well, you know, Blerg, cooking is all about...nuance.

     End of Play