We Used to Send the Children Away with the Nanny

We used to send

The children

Away with the nanny

We didn’t know

Where the nanny

Took the children

But we always

Got them back

Eventually

Were they

The same children?

Not always

Sometimes

We got new children

And that was fun

One time we got

A set of twins

But they were fraternal

Not identical

And that made them

Somewhat less fun

One way or another

We’d get our original children back

And we could tell

They had a fun time

Wherever it is

They were were

Because they’d be smiling

And telling us

About amusement parks

And bank robberies

And we’d tell them

Shhh shhh shhh

Mommy and Daddy are tired

From all the cocktails

Because there were always

So many cocktails

Back then

The nanny was first-rate

Top-of-the-line nanny

We found her

When she landed

In our chimney

We scraped her out

And handed the children

Over to her

And we never had a problem

Did the children

Every so often

Get caught in a tree?

They might have

But we wouldn’t know

Because the nanny

Didn’t let us know

That’s how it should be

I didn’t want to know

What my children

Were doing

Or who they were with

Or if they were trapped

Up in a tree

Children are like pets

You get them

And then you hand them over

To somebody else

Until they do something funny

And then they’re rushed to you

So you can see it

And have a good laugh

Nannies understood that

And that’s why

If you can’t afford a nanny

You shouldn’t have children

Because then

You’ll be expected

To spend all your time

With the children
And let me tell you

Nothing will make you

Dislike children more

Than spending

All your time with them

Until my daughter her baby

I had no idea

That all babies did

Was cry

I kept saying to her--

‘Scotland, where is your nanny?’

She tells me

She doesn’t have a nanny

Because she wants

To have a connection with her child

Because she and I

Didn’t have one

A connection

With her child

Dear, you were already

Attached to that little screamer

By an umbilical cord

For months

How much  more connected

Do you want to be?

Kids today

Kids having todays

And wanting

To raise them

Honestly

What is this world

Coming to?