Telling Time

Well, if you didn’t have a rooster

It was difficult

The people in town

Had they guy who goes around

Banging the bell

And then, of course

There are churches

But if you lived sort in the woods

Or somewhere that’s more rural

And you didn’t have a rooster

It wasn’t easy

I can tell you that

Some people could just wake up

They could just think of a time

That they’d like to be up

And--Boom!

They’re up

I was never like that

Before they invented alarm clocks

I was not waking up

Anytime before noon

Unless some loud noise happened

I used to pay the village girl

Down the street

To walk by my house every morning

On her way to the market

And sing as loud as she could
At the top her lungs

And even then, some days

I wouldn’t wake up

Sometimes the songs

Were very soothing

I think that might have

Been the problem

I tried everything

I aimed my bed

Directly in front

Of the window

So that the sunlight

Would hit my face

I trained the dog

To get hungry

Really early in the morning

So he’d bark

And try to wake me up

I even tried to teach

The chickens

To crow instead of cluck

But they insisted on clucking

And then when I broke down

And tried to find a rooster

They all scared him off

Because somehow I wound up

With the most intimidating chickens

In the entire kingdom

Finally I just stopped

Agreeing to do anything

Before one in the afternoon

Even then it was hard

Being on time

Because we didn’t have clocks

I kept asking for them

To build a church

Closer to my house

So that at least then

I would know every time

The hour struck

But they said it wasn’t worth it

Because where I live

There aren’t that many people

And none of us are religious

So even if they built a church

Nobody would go

We would just use it

To tell time

It was such a relief

When they finally invented

A decent at-home clock

Because I wasn’t the only one

Showing up late everywhere

When most people

Have no access to time

It’s nearly impossible

To be punctual

You would say things like--

Let’s get lunch on Tuesday

And then you’d go

To the village square

And just kind of

Wait until somebody showed up

That looked hungry

And then eat lunch with them

And a few hours later

Somebody would show up

Who you meant to have lunch with
But by then you’d be stuffed

So they’d eat with whoever else was there

And it would go on like that

Until it was time for dinner

Let me tell you something--

The first person

That invented a clock?

I could kiss that guy on the mouth

Of course now I need to be on time for things

And that’s kind of a hassle

But I love knowing when it’s seven o’clock

It’s just such a great time

Seven o’clock

I can’t believe I’ve been

Missing it

All these years