Wickenden

While she’s at the mall

We’re going to get ourselves

Moved into the new place

On Wickenden

We’re going to pretend

We’re college kids

Coming to town

For the first time

It’s going to be like

Moving across the country

And it’s just three miles away

But see, back in the day

Three miles

And you were gone

You were disappeared

And nobody could find you

And nobody wanted to

Good luck to you

And your life

On the other side of town

My cousin came into some money

After an accident

At the soda factory

And he moved to the East Side

You would’ve thought

He was dead in the ground

The way we talked about him after that

Used to be harder

To get across the world

And the state of Rhode Island

Was no different

People talk about

Going to the beach

The beach?

You know what we had to do

To get ourselves to the beach?

To South County?

You think our parents

Were taking us down there

Every weekend?

Nobody bothered

Shouldn’t have been that hard

Money wasn’t everywhere

But it wasn’t that tight either

We could’ve afforded some gas

And a couple of towels

Made some sandwiches

But we just didn’t do that

I don’t know why

And living on the East Side

Wasn’t even a thought

In our heads

But one weekend

Me and my other cousin

We got bored and walked

All the way through downtown
All the way up College Hill

Just walked around

Looking at the houses

Couldn’t believe it

Like we couldn’t believe

It had been there

The whole time

I thought when we got back

We were going to get

Our asses handed to us

But for some reason

I just fessed up

And told my mother

Where we’d been

And wouldn’t you know

She wanted to hear all about it

And then she whooped our asses

I started looking for apartments

Awhile back

When I finally had some finances in order

And I couldn’t believe

I found a place

Cheap as it was

Not cheap cheap

But cheaper

Than I thought it’d be

And now they tell me

This neighborhood is turning around

Wouldn’t you figure that?

Soon as we all leave

The rich people are going to roll in

And make this

The nice part of town

And we’ll be in their old haunts

Right back where we started

That’s the way the world works, you know

That’s just how it is

But while Wickenden is still
The nicer part of town
I’m going to move me

And my kid into a little apartment there

She’s with her friend at the mall now

Not even knowing

That when she comes back

Her whole life is going to be different

Three miles

And nothing’s ever

Going to be the same

It’s like I heard once

On tv--

A little geography

Goes a long way

Providence Place

He just left

And now everybody’s

All bent out of shape about it

So my dad’s like

Go somewhere

And I’m like--

You mean leave?
You mean like he left?
Like--get lost?

And he was like--

No, just give me some space

I need space right now

My dad was telling me

He needed space

Things are fucking nuts

Right now

But it’s fine

I don’t need a reason

To, like, go to the mall

Malls are the most social interaction
I can handle

Without medication

I mean, it’s depressing

Being here

Being at a mall

A mall, it’s like

The last hold-out

Of--you know, capitalism

Being this sort of--

Social thing

Now you can spend money

And drive yourself into debt

And not even really

Have to think about it

I think my family’s like that

They identify themselves

Based on who they would have been

Had they, like, been alive

In another time or something

Instead of who they are now

And, like, the time they’re living in

It’s just an insane amount

Of denial

But actually

I think that’s what’s most prevalent now

You know?

Denial

Oh my god

There’s so much denial

Like, from everyone

And I don’t really know

What you do about that

I mean, Jesus

My dad’s best friend

Like, lifelong friend

Just got on a bus

And took off

Because he actually thinks

It’s better

Somewhere else

When really

Providence is

And always has been

Like, this microcosm

Of the country as a hold

If you know anything about, like,

The history of the state

As it relates to the whole country

Except we still have a mall

When malls everywhere else are--

And I knew something was up

When I told my dad I was coming here

Because he hates when I come here

And he acts like he thinks I’m going to get jumped

When really he just sees this place

As a marker between, like, his youth

And the rest of his life

Because they opened this place

The year he turned eighteen

And so it’s this thing

That marks him becoming an adult
Which was, like, the worst thing

That’s ever happened to him

I guess it’s probably

The worst thing

That’s ever happened to anybody

Unless you had, like, a really traumatic childhood

Did I tell you

I wind up at this mall

Every year

On the 4th of July?

No clue how

But every July 4th

Here I am

And it is so creepy

And just, like, sad

But--

I don’t know why

I don’t know

What’s sad about it

I wish I did

But sometimes

I wonder

If it’s just a reflection of me

Because I’m sad

Because when you surround me

With people

I just become, like, very aware

Of how sad I am

Or seem

Or, you know,

Like

Compared to everyone else

Unless they’re just hiding

How sad they are

You can’t tell though

But you have to think that, like,

Everyone’s probably sad right now, right?

I mean--

You’d have to be crazy

Not to be really

Really

Fucking

Sad

Manton Avenue

Just took off

Got on a bus

Decided to be rich

Somewhere

Somewhere

That’s not here

Piece of work

And I’ve been saying it

I’ve been saying it

For years

Selfish

That’s what it is

You think I don’t want to

Get out of here?

I’ve been trying

To get out of here

Since I was a kid

Not that easy

Not easy

Not

No, not at all

Let me tell you

Cause you got people

We all got people

People who

People who are expecting us

To hold it together for them

You think he didn’t have people?

He just didn’t care

He just took off

Said things are crazy here

Things are crazy everywhere

And let me tell you something else

There’s no jobs anywhere

Nowhere good

Are there jobs in Alabama?
Maybe

You want to live in Alabama?
I fuckin’ don’t

Nobody does

That’s why there are jobs there

Place can’t be too bad here, right?
Otherwise we’d have all these open jobs

Lots of empty houses

For people to move into

It’d be a ghost town, right?

Keep saying

People are leaving

And I know people are leaving

I see ‘em leaving

But there’s still people

Everywhere you look

Just strangers is all

And that’s what bothers me

Used to be

I could go out

And walk down the street

And boom boom boom

This one you knew from school

This one’s cousin you knew

This one did your mother’s hair

All these people

You knew all your life

Just out walking around

Now it’s nothing like that

It’s strangers

Up the street

Down the street

And he’s taking off

Saying it’s crazy now

Hell yeah, it’s crazy

A woman rode by on a bike

And waved at me

Never seen her before

In my life

But maybe she’s having

A nice day

I don’t know

I waved back

Why wouldn’t I?

Nothing against her

She’s just a crazy lady

On a bike

Having a good day

Meanwhile I’m getting left behind

By the whole word

Far as I’m concerned

Nobody’s trying

To stay for me

Nobody gives a good

Goddamn about me

Now that’s the truth

When people care about you

They don’t take off

Just because things could be

A little bit better

In Alabama

Because they can buy more stuff

Live in a nicer place

Eat nicer food

If you care about somebody--

And I’m not talking about love

I’m not saying this

To be gay or anything

This is just me talking

I’ve had girls walk out on me too

Women

Everybody

Family

Everybody

You understand?

--And if you’re for somebody

You don’t do that to ‘em

If you’re really for ‘em

You know?

You know what that means?

A lot of people don’t

A lot of people think they do, but--

They don’t