The Crazy Women Stick Together

M. let her daughter get a tattoo
Even though she's only sixteen
And the crazy women complain
That this will inevitably lead her
Towards a life of prostitution

C. baked chocolate brownies with nuts in them
For the school bake sale and bazaar
Even though some kids--
(Some meaning none, because none--NONE--at the school have an allergy to nuts)
--Are allergic

J. took her kids to a rated-R movie
Completely ignoring the warnings of sex and violence
Dismissing the carefully crafted ratings system
Put together by people much smarter than J.
The crazy women tsk tsk her discretely

Tsk tsk tsk

L. allows her children to swear
Only in the house, but still
To swear!
She says it's not a big deal
Not a big deal!

Cluck cluck cluck
Tsk tsk tsk

The crazy women read parenting magazines
They watch news reports about gluten and pedophiles and child safety locks
They are not 'I's, they are 'We's
They say to their children 'We do this' and 'We do NOT do that'
They carry carrot sticks in plastic baggies in their purses

The crazy women cross-comment with each other
In online public forums
About various issues
They feel are pertinent
Like how other people raise their children

When they come across anything
They feel threatened
And like a pack of wild animals
They surround
Then pounce

T.'s children caught lice somehow, despite the cleanliness of T's home
Her children gave it to other children in the class
And T. was ostracized forever
Put on a proverbial iceberg
And set adrift

The crazy women believe in God
Their husbands, their husband's helplessness
Rachel Ray, Germophobia, Xenophobia
Organic oatmeal, mirroring, time out corners
And comprehensive supervision at all times

The crazy women stick together
They sit around and look at each other
And say--'Am I crazy?  Do I look crazy?
Here's what I'm doing.  Is that crazy?'
And the other crazy women say

'No, not at all!'

And everyone feels better

And outside the children play on the lawn
Wondering when they'll get
To come back inside