The Best of a Bad Situation

When he’d come over

Uh, after

I would go get

Tacos from this…

Uh, from this place

Down the street that--

I don’t think

They’re open 24/7

But I don’t know

When they close

Because sometimes

He wouldn’t leave here

Until two, three in the--

Uh, and after

I would go there

And get four tacos

Which aren’t--

The tacos aren’t big

But they’re not small

And if you eat four of them

By the time you’re done

You just pass out

From the gluttony of it all

So that’s what I do

And, uh--

It’s fun, you know

That part of it

The part when he leaves

Really sucks

But the part where I throw on some clothes

Get in my car

Drive for ten minutes

Pull up in front of the--the place

Where there is always a line

Always

The place always has a line

And, uh--

I get my tacos

I come home

I put on an old episode

Of Bob’s Burgers

I eat my tacos

Alone

And I usually finish
Right around the same time

The episode does

And then I throw the wrappers

In the dumpster

That is conveniently located

Right under my living room window

Something I complained about

When I first moved in

But is now a godsend

Because I never have to go outside

To take out the trash

And, uh...yeah

I pass out like that

On the couch

Full

Satisfied

Something that--

Something that feels like happy

Even though I know it’s not

Attaching this

Tradition

To this routine thing

That happens

That I am ambivalent about, uh--

I guess that’s

Just me

Making the best

Of a bad situation

Put something happy

Next to something

That isn’t all that happy

Just like how I put him

Next to me

Even though I know

He’s going to have to go

And I’m going to be alone

And I’m going to tell myself

That I prefer it that way

And it’s not…

It’s not a lie

Because I do like being alone

But he never…

He’s never asked

If I do

If I…

If I would like him
To, uh, stay

And I think

Even if I…

Even if I didn’t want him to

I think I would like him

To ask

To ask me, uh…

But then I wouldn’t

Have any reason

To get my tacos

And watch a show I like

And fall asleep

Under the quilt

My grandma made for me

When I first

Moved into this place

I’d have to give

All that up

It would be a better situation

But--

There are things

I’d miss

But is that--?

Is it weird to think

You’d miss the medicine

If they cured the flu?

I don’t know

All I know

How to do

Is make

The best

Of it