The Boy Who Thought He Liked a Movie and Then Found Out Everybody Else Didn’t

I saw the movie

And I was pretty eager

To get online

And tell everyone

That I liked it

Because I always feel

That if you’re the first person

To post that you like something

It’s like being a newsboy

Back in the 1920’s

Holding a hot paper

With breaking news on it--

THIS MOVIE IS GOOD!

I want to be the one

Breaking the news

Now, the only catch is--

News is news

And for the most part, you know

It used to be

Objective

This

Thing

Happened

Whereas with movies

Or music or--

It’s all subjective

So there’s a chance

That you’re going to have an opinion

And then everyone else

Will have a different opinion

But I saw this movie

And I was pretty confident--

I hadn’t looked at the reviews

I’ll say that

I should have looked at those first

But I didn’t get a chance that day

Because my dad is on dialysis

And I was so stressed

And I saw this movie

And I really really liked it

And so I felt great

Getting out of the movie

Getting on my phone

Posting that I loved it

And then me and my boyfriend

We went home

And we went to bed

And I was sure when I woke up

I was going to have, like,

All these comments

And likes on my post

About how right I was

About, you know,

What a great movie it was

Annnnnnnnnnnd

That didn’t happen

Because I woke up

And I look

And I have all these comments

Saying ‘Really?’

And ‘I hated it’

And ‘It was so bad’

And I had that sinking feeling

When you stick your neck out

With an opinion

And then everybody else

Has a different opinion than you

And what’s worse

Your opinion is the ‘pro’
And everybody else is the ‘against’

It’s okay to be the lone ‘against’

Because there’s something, like

Noble about that?

But when you’re the person

Who likes something

And everybody else hated it

You look like--

It’s like--

Geez, you’re the idiot, right?

You’re the naive one

Who liked this thing

That is obviously bad

I didn’t know what to do

I almost wanted to go online

And say that I went to see

The movie again

And--

‘Oh, just kidding, guys

I was wrong

It turns out it does suck

You were all right

And now I’m right too’

But you can’t do that

You’re stuck

You’re stuck with this

Lousy fucking opinion

That everybody knows you have

And you can either double down

And act like you don’t care

And be like ‘Whatever, haters’

Or you can…

I don’t know

I don’t know what else you can do

I did break up

With my boyfriend a few days after that though

I’m not saying it’s related, but…

I don’t know

I…

Yeah