Leaving Rhode Island: Birmingham

     (A bus station.  CLAUDIA sits with her ELAINE, her grandmother.  There is a moment of silence before they begin.)

ELAINE:  You two are going to have a lot to talk about.

CLAUDIA:  I'm not going to talk.  I'm going to hold my breath until I turn eighteen and then I'm going to explode into the atmosphere like so much vapor.

ELAINE:  You've been living in the South for too long.  It's made you poetical.

CLAUDIA:  I hate her.

ELAINE:  Now, don't say that.

CLAUDIA:  It's the truth.

ELAINE:  The truth doesn't do any good when it hurts somebody.

CLAUDIA:  She's a hateful witch.

ELAINE:  Well, she can't help it.  It's the way she was raised.

CLAUDIA:  She's your daughter!

ELAINE:  And your grandpa's.

CLAUDIA:  You're the one that beat her.

ELAINE:  You had to beat your kids back then.  Kids back then were meaner.  You let CNN say whatever they want about your generation, but the truth is, the kids we had back then were little sociopaths--you had to beat compassion into them.

CLAUDIA:  You never beat me.

ELAINE:  You weren't mine to beat.  You don't beat other people's children.  That's just bad manners.

CLAUDIA:  Mom said you never beat Aunt June either.

ELAINE:  Well you can't go beating a disabled person now, can you?

CLAUDIA:  Aunt June isn't disabled.

ELAINE:  We didn't know that at the time.  That little sneak.  She used to go around pretending to be queer so we'd feel bad for her and let her do whatever she wanted.

CLAUDIA:  Grandma!

ELAINE:  Don't 'Grandma!' me!  She's the one who thought of it.  Walking around talking to squirrels and wearing her shoes on her hands.  We didn't know what to make of her.

CLAUDIA:  I thought you meant queer like...something else.

ELAINE:  You mean like your cousin Chris?

CLAUDIA:  Yeah.

ELAINE:  I wouldn't say 'queer' to describe a gay person.  I'm not a Nazi, Claudia.

CLAUDIA:  No, but you're sending me back to one.

ELAINE:  You never should have been exiled in the first place.  You were too young.

CLAUDIA:  It was a Get Out of Jail free card.

ELAINE:  Maybe you'll feel differently now that you're a little older.

CLAUDIA:  I was coming to live with you anyway.  Mom said so.

ELAINE:  Sometimes you can appreciate your family more when they're farther away from you.

CLAUDIA:  Are you going to miss me?

ELAINE:  Hell no, you're awful.

CLAUDIA:  Hey!

ELAINE:  Don't ask stupid questions, and don't try to get me mushy.  I don't do mush.  You know that.

CLAUDIA:  I don't even remember what Rhode Island is like.

ELAINE:  It's like Birmingham, except nobody knows how to mind their own damn business.

CLAUDIA:  Am I going to hate it?

ELAINE:  You're a teenager.  I'd be surprised if you didn't hate it.

CLAUDIA:  Any chance you'll come with me?  I feel like I...need you.

ELAINE:  You know, there's nothing a grandmother loves more than having her grandkid say she needs her.

CLAUDIA:  So you'll come?

ELAINE  Hell no.

     (A beat.)

But I'll visit.

CLAUDIA:  Yeah?

ELAINE:  Yeah.  Hopefully before you explode.

     (She puts her arm around CLAUDIA.  Lights.)