Leaving Rhode Island: Chicago

     (A diner in Chicago.  STEVEN and CRYSTAL sit eating burgers in the evening.)

CRYSTAL:  It’s kind of fun being somewhere when you’re supposed to be somewhere else.

STEVEN:  Is George going to be mad at you?

CRYSTAL:  I don’t care.  It’s like—I hate the guy you’re marrying.  Don’t expect me to go there and support it.  There’s a reason they ask if anybody there objects.  If I went, I’d have to object.  Otherwise it’s like lying.  It’s like lying in the middle of a sacred ceremony of trust and love.  He can’t ask me to do that.  So whatever.  I didn’t go.

STEVEN:  How many times have your parents called so far?

CRYSTAL:  I shut off my phone.  I mean, first I texted them to be like, ‘I’m not dead.  I just didn’t get on the plane.  Don’t worry.  Say hi to Auntie Pat for me’ but then I shut it off.  I don’t need them guilt tripping me.

STEVEN:  I think we should have gone to Rhode Island and kidnapped George.

CRYSTAL:  Ew, why?  It’s not like he’s doing this against his will.

STEVEN:  Maybe he is.  I mean, I really don’t think he likes Chris that much.

CRYSTAL:  Oh my God, he likes Chris so much more than Chris likes him.  That’s what’s so sad about him.

STEVEN:  Okay, so maybe we should have gone there, and been like—George, Chris doesn’t even love you.  What are you doing?

CRYSTAL:  He doesn’t care.  He’s only in it for the money.

STEVEN:  Don’t say that!  George isn’t like that.

CRYSTAL:  Steven, he’s my brother.  I think I know how he is.

STEVEN:  I’ve been thinking of moving there.

CRYSTAL:  To Rhode Island?

STEVEN:  Yeah.

CRYSTAL:  Oh my God, why?

STEVEN:  Why not?  It seems nice there.  You’re from there.

CRYSTAL:  Yeah, so?

STEVEN:  So—you said it was nice.

CRYSTAL:  From what I remember, yeah.  But we live in Chicago.  It’s, like, way better here.

STEVEN:  Then why did George go back?

CRYSTAL:  Because he wasn’t the one exiled.  I was.  He hated it here.

STEVEN:  Maybe he had a reason.

CRYSTAL:  He just likes having stuff to complain about.

STEVEN:  You’re so mean to him.

CRYSTAL:  He put me in the dryer!

STEVEN:  When you were a baby!

CRYSTAL:  That’s even worse!  I couldn’t defend myself.

STEVEN:  WELL I LOVE HIM!

                (Pause.  A moment.)

CRYSTAL:  You—what?

STEVEN:  He’s…George, he’s really…I love him.

CRYSTAL:  Oh my God.

STEVEN:  I know.

CRYSTAL:  Oh my God!

STEVEN:  I know!

CRYSTAL:  But he’s my brother!

STEVEN:  And he’s married.

CRYSTAL:  Well that doesn’t mean anything—BUT HE’S MY BROTHER!

STEVEN:  I’m going to move to Rhode Island.  I think if I’m near him a lot then maybe he’ll fall in love with me too.

CRYSTAL:  Or he’ll take out a restraining order against you.

STEVEN:  I have to try.

CRYSTAL:  Steven, I’m sure you think this sounds romantic, but it really just comes across as creepy.

STEVEN:  But do you think it could work?

CRYSTAL:  Yes, because sometimes things that are creepy actually work.  That’s why there’s no such thing as stalking.

STEVEN:  Speaking rationally to me right now isn’t going to have any affect.  I feel like I need to mention that.

CRYSTAL:  When did this start?

STEVEN:  Like, five years ago—

CRYSTAL:  The entire time we’ve known each other?

STEVEN:  I went in his room that first day you had me over your house after school.  He had all those bowties.  It was intoxicating.

CRYSTAL:  Jesus—

STEVEN:  It awakened something in me.

CRYSTAL:  I’m going to need you to never talk about this again.

STEVEN:  I have to go there.  Even if he never ends up feeling about me the way I feel about him, I need to at least—be as close to him as I can be.

CRYSTAL:  So you’re going to—what?  Just live in Rhode Island.  Pining?  Pining away day and night by the ocean like some sailor’s widow?

STEVEN:  Rhode Island is near the ocean?

CRYSTAL:  Rhode ISLAND, Steven.

STEVEN:  I don’t know!  I’m not a geologist!

CRYSTAL:  Grapher.

STEVEN:  What?

CRYSTAL:  Nothing.

STEVEN:  Why don’t you come with me?

CYRSTAL:  No.

STEVEN:  Why not?  You’re not exiled anymore.  You got that letter.

CYRSTAL:  Why would I move?  I’m not in love with anybody.  One of the benefits of not being in love is that you don’t have to uproot your life for absolutely no reason.  It’s really very pleasant.

STEVEN:  We could get an apartment together.

CRYSTAL:  Yeah, maybe across the street from George and his new husband so you could watch him from your bedroom window.

STEVEN:  …Are you being sarcastic?

CRYSTAL:  YES!

STEVEN:  Sorry, sorry.

CRYSTAL:  I thought you liked it here.

STEVEN:  I do, but—

CRYSTAL:  So you’d leave?  You’d leave for him?  You’d leave me for him?

STEVEN:  It’s not about leaving; it’s about going after something.

CRYSTAL:  Not if you’re the person being left.

STEVEN:  But you could come visit—me and George—you know, together—or, separately—whatever.

CRYSTAL:  Oh my God, you’re really going to do this.  You’re going to leave Chicago.  One of the greatest cities on the planet—to go chasing after my married brother.

STEVEN:  I know this is going to sound crazy, and maybe it isn’t always like this, I don’t know, because I’ve never been in love before, but—it seems that the side effect of it may be that…I have this stubborn feeling that needs me.

CRYSTAL:  And do you need him?

STEVEN:  Of course I do.

CRYSTAL:  …Then I guess you have to go.

STEVEN:  I’m sorry.

CRYSTAL:  Don’t be sorry.  You can’t help it.  I’m assuming you can’t help it?

STEVEN:  I wish I could.

CRYSTAL:  I guess I’ve always been a little jealous of him.  Maybe that’s why this feels so awful.

STEVEN:  Why jealous?

CRYSTAL:  Because he got to go back and I didn’t.

STEVEN:  So you did miss it?

CRYSTAL:  I just didn’t like knowing that I had no choice.  I would have liked…to be able to choose, but…I’m an Exile.  It’s who I am.

STEVEN:  Yeah, I know what you mean.

CRYSTAL:  If I had known you felt this way, I would have just given you my plane ticket.  You could have stopped the wedding.

STEVEN:  Ha.

                (A beat.)

Just to be clear, it IS too late for that, right?

CRYSTAL:  Yeah.

STEVEN:  Okay, just checking.

CRYSTAL:  You’re going to like Rhode Island, Steven.  If you have to be in love, it’s not a bad place to be.

                (Lights.)