Leaving Rhode Island: Dublin

            (CORA and EVELYN are at a pub in Dublin.)

CORA:  Between you and me, I’m looking forward to going back.

EVELYN:  I thought you loved it here?

CORA:  Oh, it’s beautiful.  But it’s not where I grew up.  You’ll see when you’re older.  You want to die where you were born.  Life is cyclical.  It’s how things are.  You go back to the beginning.

EVELYN:  You all packed?

CORA:  I’m leaving everything.

EVELYN:  You’re serious?

CORA:  What do I need?  I got a friend in Hawaii right now with nothing but a bathing suit to her name and she’s having the time of her life.

EVELYN:  Her kids excited about taking her home?

CORA:  She’s not going home.

EVELYN:  Why not?

CORA:  Not everybody misses their old lives.

EVELYN:  I cleaned the house for you.  Everything’s ready for you.

            (A beat.)

CORA:  You didn’t have to do that, you know.

EVELYN:  I don’t think you understand how messy a house can get in five years.

CORA:  I’m glad it’s messy.  That means you’ve been having fun.

EVELYN:  That’s the thing about messes, Ma.  You don’t have to create them.  They show up one way or another no matter what you do.

            (A beat.)

CORA:  You better not be drinking again.

EVELYN:  Are you aware we’re in a pub in Dublin?

CORA:  And you’re sitting here not drinking and I’m proud of you.

EVELYN:  How many years sober do you think I am?

            (A beat.)

CORA:  Seven and a half years.

EVELYN:  You really think that, Ma?

CORA:  I’ve been gone five.  You were two and a half years in when I left.

EVELYN:  And you think I’ve been good all this time?

CORA:  You trying to tell me something?

EVELYN:  A lot happens in five years.

CORA:  You telling me I’m coming home to you starting up again?

EVELYN:  Not starting anything.

CORA:  Good.

EVELYN:  Maybe resuming, but—

CORA:  Don’t make jokes.

EVELYN:  Sorry.

CORA:  Not about that.

EVELYN:  Ma—

CORA:  You remember how bad it was?  How bad it got?

EVELYN:  You think I’d forget?

CORA:  Then don’t make jokes.

            (A beat.)

EVELYN:  It’s not fair.

CORA:  What?

EVELYN:  That you’d leave.  That you’d leave me and then tell me I have to take care of myself while you’re gone.

CORA:  I didn’t leave, Ev.  They made me leave.

EVELYN:  They tried making Lisa’s mother leave.  She wouldn’t go.  She wouldn’t leave her family.

CORA:  And they threw her in jail.  Sixty-three and she’s in jail.  That’s what you wanted for me?

EVELYN:  I wanted you to try—something.  Not just get on a plane with a smile on your face.

CORA:  I make the best of things.  You know that.

EVELYN:  Oh, I know.

CORA:  If you’re going to say something, say it.  Don’t bury it like that.  Under all that inflection.  You know I don’t go for that.

EVELYN:  Maybe you wanted to get away.

            (A beat.)

CORA:  From you?  Is that what you’re saying?  From you?  My daughter?

EVELYN:  I wouldn’t blame you.  I would have loved to get away from me.

CORA:  Pity party, pity party.

EVELYN:  I hate when you say that.

CORA:  I’ve been saying it since you were a kid.

EVELYN:  Yeah, and I’ve hated it every single time you’ve said it.

CORA:  You’re always the first person to cry for yourself, Ev.  You don’t even give anybody else a chance.

EVELYN:  So did you?

CORA:  Did I what?

EVELYN:  Leave to get away from me?

CORA:  They. Made. Me. Leave.

EVELYN:  Did they make you go across an ocean?

CORA:  I tried to look at it as an adventure.  I tried to—

EVELYN:  --Make the best of it.

CORA:  I had to be strong.  For you.  For your sisters.  I couldn’t go off kicking and screaming.  I tried to make it seem like no big deal.  And now look—I can come home, and everything’s fine.

EVELYN:  Are you kidding me?  Nothing is fine.

CORA:  Why?  What’s not fine?

EVELYN:  I’m a drunk.  That’s what’s not fine.

CORA:  You’re no drunk.

EVELYN:  I’m a drunk, Ma.

CORA:  You’re not a drunk!

EVELYN:  I had a drink yesterday.  And the day before that.  And the day before that.  Want me to keep going?

            (A moment.)

CORA:  Why?

EVELYN:  One drink every day.  Just because.  Just because I feel like it.

CORA:  You trying to hurt me?

EVELYN:  Yes, Ma.  It’s all about you.

CORA:  I can’t.  I can’t—

EVELYN:  Can’t what?  Can’t come home to this?

CORA:  I was looking forward to—

EVELYN:  No, you weren’t.  Who are you kidding?  You were dreading having to come home.  Even if you thought I was still sober,  you know what it’d be like—sitting at home alone, every night, all weekend, watching tv with me, watching me while I watch tv, watching me like a hawk to make sure I don’t screw up.  That’s what you were looking forward to?  That’s what you were going to make the best of?

CORA:  I…

            (A beat.)

EVELYN:  I don’t want you to come back.

CORA:  it’s not your decision, Ev.

EVELYN:  But it’s what you want.  I’m just telling you it’s okay.  Don’t come back.  Stay here.  Enjoy the adventure.

CORA:  If you didn’t want me to come back, why did you come all the way here?

EVELYN:  Because I thought I would see you and you’d see what was going on.  I didn’t think you’d just—smile and start talking about how long the flight home was going to be and how much did the tickets cost and should you get a book to read for the plane.  I didn’t think you’d make the best of it, I thought you’d step up and do something.  I thought you’d be a mom for once.  I can’t…I can’t have you home.

CORA:  What?

EVELYN:  I’ve been drinking every day—nervous about the day when you’d be back.  Nervous about messing up in front of you.  But if I knew you weren’t coming back—I don’t know.  Maybe I could get my life together.  Maybe if I wasn’t waiting for the other shoe to drop, or…

CORA:  You don’t want me back.

EVELYN:  It’s not about what I want, Ma.  I promise.  It’s not about that.

CORA:  Well…

            (CORA thinks about saying something, but then changes her mind.)

            I don’t mind it here.

EVELYN:  Good.  I’m glad.

            (A beat.)

           

            It’s a beautiful place.

            (They sit in silence.  Neither says a thing.)