Wednesday, May 8, 2019

Halfway There

You get me
Halfway through the week

Halfway through
My crying fit
My temper tantrum
My ego trip

You get me halfway past
My memory recall
My last dance
My first mistake

You get me halfway along
And halfway ahead
And halfway to somewhere
I think I could stand being

You get me halfway
To feeling better
Than I’ve felt in years

You get me feeling like I did
When I was twenty
And sunlight was something you noticed
As it was coming through
Coming through

Sheets so soft
Being awake on them
Felt even better
Than being asleep

Windows open
Music playing
Something cooking
In the kitchen
For later
For us

You get me halfway done
Done with what I’ve settled for
Done with what I’ve allowed
Done with elegant Monday’s
And bright light Tuesday’s
Sidewalk Wednesday’s

Every sidewalk
Every single one
And their ends
All their ends

You get me halfway
To a poem
I don’t remember

To a movie
I used to watch

To a joke
That made me laugh
When I knew
How to laugh

It’s not that I don’t find things
Funny anymore
It’s just that sometimes
You have to force yourself to laugh
The same way sometimes
You force yourself
To cry
And I--

It takes strength
It takes strength to force yourself
To do nearly anything

And I don’t always
Have the strength

But you

You get me halfway
To something
That feels like
Being strong

My pride swells
My lips part
And suddenly a voice
That doesn’t quake
Comes out of me
Saying how it’s going to be
From now on

I get a little
Of myself back
Almost back
Halfway back

You get me halfway to scared
For what happens
In the other half

The half where I get dressed
And say goodbye
And go home

Home being somewhere
With the windows closed
And nothing on the stove
And no music
And a mattress
With no sheets
And nothing soft

You get me halfway
To thinking
I could do better

You stand outside
Those closed windows
And wait for me
To open one
Knowing
That I can’t

That I won’t

That I never will

But only halfway
Only ever

Halfway

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