Alvaro's Anxiety

I'm nervous because Gabriel is gone

Our janitor
He's gone

And I heard from Holly
That he got deported
So now I'm nervous

My mom says anxiety runs in my family
And that's when you're nervous
All the time for no reason

But this time I have a reason
Because Gabriel is gone
And I could be next

Permit me to explain

My friend Holly came into school yesterday
And told me I'm not really an American
Because my parents weren't born here

She found that out
When I presented my family tree to the class
And it was entitled--

'My Parents Weren't Born Here--An Exploration of Ancestry'

My friend Tony Hooper says that Holly wasn't born here either
He says she was born in the eighth circle of Hell
Which is something he heard his brother say
About Holly's older sister

I didn't know I wasn't really an American
Until Holly told me

Now I don't know what I am

My parents are from Portugal
But Holly says I must be from Mexico
Because her parents met me
When I went to her birthday party
And she heard them say in the kitchen
That they can't believe how many Mexicans
Live in their town now

She told me that Mexicans get sent back to their home countries
All the time
As soon as someone finds out who they are

So maybe my parents picked me up in Mexico?
Maybe I'm adopted?
Maybe I have to go back to Mexico
And I've never even been there before!

Mrs. Brugel took us to the library
Where Tony--Mars, not Hooper
Helped me look up information
About my native country

It turns out they don't even speak Portuguese there
So now I have to learn a whole other language
Besides the two I already know!

At first I was pretty ticked off
Then I started learning more about Mexico
And you know
It doesn't seem like such a bad place

Me and Tony Mars googled 'Cancun'
And all these photos came up
Of these really pretty girls
Who looked like they were having
A really good time

Then I asked Gabriel the janitor
What Mexico was like
Because he looks like me
Which means he must be Mexican
But it turns out that he's from Guatemala
Which is a place I'd never even heard of
Because we don't do Geography
Until fourth grade

So then I was thinking maybe I'm from Guatemala
But I figured then Gabriel would probably recognize
A fellow countryman

Gabriel told me that he went to Mexico once though
And that he loved it there
Because that was where he met his wife

'So your wife is Mexican, Gabriel?'
'Yup.'
'Do you think I could meet her? Maybe she could teach me my native language.'
'She doesn't speak it, Alvaro. She was born here. She just went back to visit her family.'

Apparently most Mexicans don't speak Mexican
Maybe once I learn it I could there and teach everybody it
And make a fortune!

When I went home I got on my computer
And after I was done doing my homework
I researched more about Mexico
And the more I thought living there
Might not be so bad

But that was when I thought it was only a possibility

Then I came into school today
And Gabriel was gone

Holly said they must have sent him back
And now I'm really scared
Because I haven't even packed my video games yet
And what if I can't take them on the plane?

I went home and told my parents
That I was going to Mexico
And my parents asked when my school started being able to afford
These expensive field trips

I told them it wasn't a field trip
That I was born in Mexico
And they adopted me
And Gabriel the janitor was gone
And now I was going to be next
Because our country is run
By right-wing nutcases

That last part was what Tony Mars told me his dad said
His Dad works for a magazine called The Liberator and has a ponytail
Even though it looks weird

My Mom laughed when I told her
About my upcoming deportation
And she told me that I was definitely an American
And that her and my dad were too
And there was nothing to worry about
And that Gabriel probably just got a new job

Well...then I was kind of sad

I was glad I get to stay in America
But now I don't feel exotic
And I was really looking forward
To meeting all those girls in Cancun

Maybe Gabriel is in Mexico now
Maybe he's with his wife
And they're both sitting on a beach
Drinking smoothies
And Gabriel's glad
Because there's nothing there to clean

Just sand and sombreros
And tons of cool stuff

Maybe he'll tell the people there about me
Alvaro, the Portuguese Mexican American

Maybe he'll tell them that even though I'm a patriot
I'll never forget my almost-country