A Glass Full of Apple Juice

You want to know about Gabriel?

The janitor...?

Hahaha

Wellllllllllllllllll

I don't know anything
But any...janitor

But I do seem to remember
Some Guatemalan fellow
Poking his nose in
Where it didn't belong being poked

We got a lot of that going around
Here in the third grade

A lot of people with big noses
And big opinions
And little brains
That only work half the time

Holly may not be able to remember what a preposition is
But she sure does have her opinions

She was the one who told me Gabriel disappeared

I'd say I was sad
But I don't tell lies on Tuesday

Would you hand me that glass?

I always like to have a glass of apple juice
Before recess

Steadies my nerves
When I climb up on that jungle gym

It's a jungle on that jungle gym
Lots of tigers, and lions, and bears...oh yes

Just a few days ago
Fat Pants fell off the back of the slide

...Or did he?

Maybe somebody...pushed him?

Maybe it was that Gabriel you're looking for

That...janitor

You want my opinion?

Sure you do

Otherwise you wouldn't be standing there
In your galoshes
And your rain slicker
Asking me the way back to the second grade classroom
Because you're new at this school

DO YOU THINK I'M STUPID?

I know a narc when I see one

Those pigtails weren't done by anybody's mama, sweetheart
They were done by a pro

You think I know what happened to Gabriel the Janitor
And you're going to get it out of me
Or kick the bucket trying

Well, that bucket you're standing next to
Is what we use to keep the shavings
That fall out of the pencil sharpener
So you kick it all you want, sister

Everybody knows Gabriel's in that big puddle next to the school
That the principal tries to pass off as a baseball field

You have a three-foot dent in the middle of your outfield
During a particularly rainy season
And what you get is a perfect resting place
For a janitor who didn't know when to keep his eyes closed
And his mop to the ground

Now I'm not saying I had anything to do with it
But what I will say is this--

I don't shed any tears for a janitor

I got my own spills to mop
Starting with the apple juice
I'm about to throw in your face

This ain't second grade, honey
This is grade three
And around here--

We don't clean up our own messes