Bernie Would Tell Me to Dance

Bernie would not like
The color I painted the bedroom

He wouldn't like the renovations
I made to the kitchen

He would say it was a waste of money

'Can you use the stove?'
'Yeah, Bernie, I can use the stove.'
'Then what's the problem?'

Bernie believed you live in a living room
And all the other rooms are just for peeing, cooking, and sleeping

As long as he had his recliner
He was happy

Which reminds me
Bernie would not like
That I threw out
His recliner

Bernie wouldn't like that I now don't eat meat
He'd tell me it's not healthy

But considering he died of a coronary
After years of consuming nothing but butter
Steak, Cheese, and chocolate-covered almonds

I figure I'll stick to my arugula
So at least one of us will be there
At our son's wedding next year

Bernie was not the most ideal husband
But I'll tell you one thing about him
That I absolutely loved

When Bernie's mother passed away
He cried for three solid months
Then he took me out dancing

And when I asked him
If he was sure he was ready
To go out and have a good time
He said--

'I needed to cry for me, and that was okay. But when I dance, I'm going to be dancing for Ma. You mourn somebody by crying, but you celebrate 'em by living.'

Well

I've had a year to cry
And I needed that year

The crying
And the new paint in the bedroom
And the fancy new couch in the living room
And the stainless steel in the kitchen

That was all for me
'Cause I needed it

And that's okay

But tonight's for Bernie
Because Bernie would tell me to dance