Charlie and the Tree

The last time I climbed you
You threw me out

I remember

I was nine years old
I made it up to your top branch
And you threw me
To the ground

You're lucky I didn't die

I could have died

Would you care?

No, because you're a tree

An evil tree full of darkness

Because of you
I broke my arm
And now I can't play the piano

I didn't even know I couldn't play the piano
Until I asked my mom what I couldn't do with a broken arm
And she said--

'Well, you can't play the piano, I guess'

And that's all thanks to you

My mom didn't believe me
When I told her
You threw me off you

She said it was just the trauma
Creating memories in my mind
Of something that didn't really happen

That might explain why I landed on a horse named Gus
Doing long division

But it doesn't explain
How I felt one of your branches
Grab me by the back of my leg
And fling me to the ground

It was almost as bad
As when my grandma hugs me

As soon as I got out of the hospital
I knew I had to stop you
Before you hurt any more innocent kids
Who do things their mom tells them not to do
Because they're sowing their wild goats

So I'm here
To chop you down

My mom wouldn't let me use my dad's saw
Because she says I'd cut my own head off
Which isn't even possible to do by accident
You'd have to really want no head

Instead I brought this pair of scissors
And to answer the question
You're asking yourself

No, they are NOT safety scissors

I got them from the drawer I'm not allowed to go in

Now, I may only be able to chop down part of you today
Because I still only have one hand free
And using it a lot makes me kinda tired

So I'm going to be a decent guy
And let you tell me
Which part of you
You want to lose first

. . . . .

Your top branch?

...Hmm, I guess I can make it up there with one arm...

Okay, fine

I'm coming up

But this time I'm going to keep my scissors in my hand
The whole time
In case you try anything funny

And to think my mother says I never learn