Look...this just isn't going to work.
For one thing, when we first met
You looked a LOT different
I don't know if it was the lighting
Or the glass shoes
Or the really cool pumpkin we made out in
But things just seem...different now
You're still super nice
But you're also really dirty
I mean, do you bathe? At all?
Yeah, yeah, yeah--evil stepmother
I know, I know
But couldn't you throw some of that water you were scrubbing the floor with
Onto your face every once in awhile?
I'm not asking for a lot here
Plus, you talk to mice
Huh?
Oh right--they talk back...suuuurrreeee....
Look, the point is
I don't think we're a good match
We barely even know each other!
Do you even know my first name?
It's...um...okay, it's something Charming, I know that...
Anyway, I think it's best for both of us
If we call it quits
I need a girl who understands me
A girl who knows what it means to be a princess all the time
Not just until midnight
I need a girl with long hair I can climb up
And swing down, and wrap around myself like a sweater
A hairy blonde sweater and--
What? Is that weird?
Ew, don't judge
You're the one who hangs out with dwarves!
Oh wait, is that not you?
Oh my God, I'm so sorry
That must be the princess from the East Kingdom
Where are you going?
YOU'RE NOT BREAKING UP WITH ME I'M BREAKING UP WITH YOU!
I AM WITTY AND STRIKING IN APPEARANCE!
Ugh, being charming is so difficult.
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