Hello?
Yes, I'd like to speak to whomever is in charge
Of predicting the weather
Provided he still has a job
In which case
I'd also like to talk to the moron
Who hasn't fired him yet
Yes, I'll hold
...Is this Dean Martin?...
Yes, this is the Villain
No, the is just before the Villain
It's not my first name
V-I-L-L-A-I-N
...But it's not--
Ugh
T-H-E
Okay, fine
Now, could I please--
Yes, I'll hold
...Maybe it's Tony Bennett...
...I got you...under my--
Yes, I'm here!
Well, I'm just a little perturbed, you see
Because I was supposed to blow up the East Coast tonight
But I couldn't
Because nobody would have noticed
Because allegedly there was going to be a hurricane
That would do its own form of destruction
And then nobody would notice my hard work
And so instead I rented 'You've Got Mail'
Stocked up on bottled water
And spent the evening in with my koala bear, John Tesh
J-O-H-N T-E-S-H
Well, what am I supposed to do with all this bottled water???
I can't DRINK it!
Don't be insane!
My bladder is the size of a thumbtack!
Well, WHY did you predict a hurricane
When there wasn't one?
You know why I think you did it?
Because you're a liar
And let me tell you something, liar
I may blow up small islands
I may shave poodles for no reason
I may have been indirectly responsible for the break-up of The Wallflowers
But at no time, have I ever LIED ABOUT THE WEATHER!
Only a sicko would do something like that
A SICKO!
Yes, I'll hold
...Okay, this sounds like Bing Crosby, I'm just totally confused...
Hello?
Yes, I'm here
Not an exact science?
Neither is shooting secret agents
But I somehow always manage to get it right
Except when John Tesh accidentally gnaws on the bars on their cage
And lets them out
He's teething...again
What?
No, I do not want a weather boy badge!
I'm not a boy!
I mean, I am a boy
But I'm not--
Oooohhhh, hang on
I'm getting in my swivel chair
I am going to swivel this out with you
All over your face!
...It doesn't mean anything! It's just something you say while you're swiveling!
Oh yeah? Well you're a LIAR!
WELL THE FROWNY FACE CLOUD DOESN'T STICK ITSELF TO THE MAP NOW DOES IT, YOU LIAR?
LIAR LIAR LIAR--
...He hung up
Well, that's fine
He probably has to rush home
Then again, with that rabid otter in his car
I'm not sure how far he thinks he's going
Maybe next time
He'll wait to use the frowny face cloud
And not jump to conclusions
That ruin perfectly good weekends
When certain Villains could be out
Partying with his henchmen
Wouldn't that be nice, John Tesh?
Wouldn't that just be fantastic?
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