Charlie's Cab Driver

The first thing I want to tell you
Is that he left me a nice tip
And a 'thank you' note
In the backseat

That's the only time anybody's ever left me
A 'thank you' note

So when you told me he died
And asked me to say a few words
Well, here's why I'm saying 'em

Because even though I only drove him
Twenty blocks
To some wedding
I can still say for a fact
That he was a real good guy

Because sometimes you know
Sometimes you just know

When he got in the cab
And told me he was going to a church
I said--confession, wedding, mass or funeral?

He said 'Wedding'
And that explained
Why he looked like
He was in a bad mood

'Who's getting married,' I asked
'My ex-wife,' he said

Geez, I thought

I thought
But I didn't say it

I didn't say that the only thing I ever invited my ex-husband to
Was a bonfire
Inside of his '98 Pontiac

He used to groom that car
Like it was a rare gorilla

I asked him how it came to be
That he was invited
To the wedding of his ex-wife
And he said it's cause she was marrying his brother

Can you believe that?

A Shakespearian tragedy
Right there in my cab

I said I was sorry
But then he just laughed
And said 'Life's funny, you know?'
And I said 'Yeah, it sure is'

We drove along for a little bit
Without saying anything

He was looking out the window
Like he was expecting rain

Expecting something

Who knows?

Then he says--'It'd be easier not to love her if there was someone else to love'

And I thought about my ex-husband
And how I didn't get over him
Until I met my new guy

He's about twenty years older than me
And crankier than a goat with two assholes
But I loved him the minute I laid eyes on him

It was when I was living away from the city
Taking care of my mother before she passed
And I had to get my computer fixed
So I brought it into his store
And as soon as I saw him fiddling with the mouse
I fell pretty hard

We pulled up in front of the church
And I could see
It was going to be hard for him
To go inside

So I parked the cab

--And yeah, I found a parking spot at 2pm on a Saturday--I shoulda called the Guiness World Record people--

I got out
And I said--

'You ready?'

And he said--

'What are you doing?'

And I said--

'I'm your date, Big Boy.  Just don't try nothin' unless you plan on liquoring me up first.'

He laughed
Got out of the cab
Took my arm
And escorted me in

It was a real nice wedding
And--I didn't tell him this, but--
His ex-wife was quite the looker
As for his brother, eh, I'd've stuck with Charlie
But I don't know the whole story, you know?

You never really know the whole story

When the ceremony was done
We walked back out to the cab
But Charlie said--

'I think I'm going to walk.'

Then he gave me a kiss on the cheek
Like I was a lady or something
And he went on his way

I found the cash and the note
In the backseat

He left me that note
Even before I offered to be his date
Ain't that somethin'?

He held my hand through that entire wedding
Not 'cause he was being fresh
But because I think he needed somebody
To hold onto in that moment

I was real sorry to hear that he died
But I was happy to know
That at least for one moment in his life
He had somebody's hand to hold
When he needed it

That makes me feel
Pretty good