Charlie's Haircut

Charlie wanted to shave his head

I advised against it

I am, after all
A hair stylist

I am an advocate for hair

I will never understand
Why people turn up at a hair salon
Looking to get their head shaved

You don't need a stylist for that
You just need a buzzer
And a few shots of whiskey

But Charlie sat right down in my chair
And asked to have it all taken off

I said--'Death, disease, or divorce?'

Because it's always
One of the three

And he says divorce
So I get to work

I asked him why he didn't go to a barber
And he said he's not comfortable
Having men touch his hair in such a way

I understand that

There are some things
Straight men have no business doing--

Decorating a room
Planning a vacation
Or messing with anybody's hair

I tried to take my time with Charlie's hair
Since he was going to be paying me and all
I had to make it seem like I was actually doing something

He told me this was his second divorce
And I said--Well, that makes sense

One divorce will make you crazy
But a second divorce will you realize
You were crazy for getting married in the first place
And that can be sort of liberating

I asked him why the first marriage didn't work
And he said it was because his wife fell in love with his brother

Then I asked why the second marriage didn't work
And he said it was because his wife fell in love with her personal trainer

I told him that was nothing to be ashamed about
Lots of women give in to lust
When personal trainers are involved

I asked him if he'd like some free hairspray or something

He said--No thank you, just the clean head.

A clean head--doesn't that sound nice?

Wouldn't it be even better if it was true?

If you could just shave off everything on top
And have the rest of you go with it

Grow back a brand new person

I think that'd be nice
And it would certainly improve business

When the haircut was done
Charlie gave me a tip
That was twice as much as I charged for the cut
And I thought that was very sweet

I told him he was going to make some woman
A real happy third wife someday
And he said he didn't think he was going to get married again

But I just said to him--Charlie, people are living three lifetimes longer than they used to.  It only makes sense that we have at least one love for each life.

Then he laughed
And gave me a kiss on the cheek
And I guess I should have scolded him or something but...

Well, to be honest
I kind of liked it

And let me tell you something
I may be an advocate for hair
But that man looked damn good
With that clean-shaven head

Not many men
Can pull off
A look like that

But Charlie could

Oh believe me, he could