Charlie's First Boss

Charlie was always three and a half minutes early

I'm aware of stuff like that

Not someone being early

Truthfully
I don't care if anybody's early

I run a computer repair shop
And as long as the computers get repaired
I don't particularly care
Who's here when

But Charlie, I noticed
Was always
Three and a half minutes early
Which is an oddity
If you think about it
As I have

Why three and a half minutes?

Why not five?
Or five minutes late?

Why not be one of those people
Who shows up at their job
Two hours before their start time
Because they're nervous about being late

I've never been lucky enough to employ one of those people
But I hear about them
The way someone might hear
About unicorns

Charlie--and I timed this, obviously
Or else how would I know--
Was always--
Three and a half minutes early

So, in terms of what I can say about Charlie
Well, he was early
He was always early

When he worked for me anyway
I can't speak to other bosses
But for me, Charlie was always early

Then one day
He just...didn't come in

I started panicking right at the three minute mark

Because when a man shows up three and a half minutes early
For every shift
For a year
And then suddenly it's three minutes before his shift
And he's not there
You know something's wrong

So I call him at his house
And his mom picks up
And says he moved to California

Guess he had to get away from the girl next door to him
His Mom said she broke his heart
And now she's a lesbian

I told her I know all about that
But truthfully, I had no idea

As I was speaking to his mom on the phone
The door to the shop opened
And who walks in but Charlie

Had to pick up some stuff, he said
And he apologized for not giving me notice

Said if he spent one more day
Living next to that girl
It was going to turn him
Into some kinda bad poet

I told him I know all about that
But again, no idea

I asked him, because it had been bugging me
Why he was always three and a half minutes early
And he pointed to his watch

'From my grandpa,' he said, 'It's been three and a half minutes ahead since he died.  I never got around to changing it.'

And here I thought the kid was just quirky

We sat for awhile
And talked about stuff

He asked me
If I'd ever been to California
And I said I'd heard it was nice there
But no, I'd never been then

Then he asked me
If I thought
He was doing the right thing

It's a strange situation
When your employee quits
And then asks you
If you think he's a dope for quittin'

I thought about it for a second
And then when I looked at him
When I really looked at him
I realized that he wanted to change his mind

But not because he was making a mistake
But because he was scared
Scared to make a change

Now the thing about Charlie
Is that he wasn't just early
He was a good employee

He worked hard
He minded his own business
And when the other guys would try electrocuting each other for fun
He would always be the first one to call 9-1-1

Truthfully, I kind of wanted to keep him around

But then I looked at the shop we were sitting in
My little home away from home
All four feet of it--and that isn't a large exaggeration
By the way

And I looked at Charlie

And I told him to go

I told him he should go
And try out California
See how it fit
And if it didn't
He could come back
And I'd have a job for him

We shook hands
And exchanged good-byes
And he took off

To this day
That's the best gift
I've ever given anybody

Giving Charlie permission
To go see what's what out there

Truthfully, I wish I'd given myself that permission
But this isn't supposed to be about me, is it?

The day Charlie walked out of my shop
I closed up three and a half minutes early

Just 'cause

Just 'cause it felt
Right