Jessica Chastain Talks Shit About Bryce Dallas Howard

(JESSICA CHASTAIN and AMY ADAMS are having brunch.)

JESSICA:  It just irks me, because I know she’s going to get an Oscar before I do.

AMY:  No.

JESSICA:  I just--

AMY:  How?

JESSICA:  She’s just always sneaking in and taking things while I’m over here allegedly being the more prestigious one.

AMY:  What did she take?

JESSICA:  Well, take might be the wrong word, but--

AMY:  Was it Jurassic World?

JESSICA:  No, that’s why I’m saying take isn’t--Because I didn’t really want that role.

AMY:  So they offered it to you?

JESSICA:  They mentioned it to me, but--

AMY:  You didn’t want it?

JESSICA:  No, I mean, they mentioned it was happening, but it wasn’t exactly offered to me.

AMY:  Oh.

(A beat.)

JESSICA:  It’s probably her dad.

AMY:  Yeah.

JESSICA:  I mean, I think she’s, like, Steven Spielberg’s goddaughter or something, so--

AMY:  Did he direct--?

JESSICA:  No, but he’s a producer on all those movies so--

AMY:  Oh.

JESSICA:  So that’s probably what happened.

AMY:  Yeah.

JESSICA:  But then she got that Black Mirror episode--

AMY:  Did you want that?

JESSICA:  I didn’t know about it.

AMY:  So you wanted it?

JESSICA:  I mean, it’s television--

AMY:  It’s Netflix.

JESSICA:  Right.  That’s television.

AMY:  Not really.

JESSICA:  Well, it’s not a movie.

AMY:  That was such a good episode.

JESSICA:  I know, that’s why I wish someone had told me about it.

AMY:  But maybe they know how you feel about television.

JESSICA:  How do I feel about television?

AMY:  Well, you just--

JESSICA:  I don’t care that it’s television, I just--Okay, so I’m above her, right?  Like on the--the--hierarchy or whatever?  I’m above her.

AMY:  Yeah, I would say so.

JESSICA:  Like, a few different people look like other people and of all the people who look like me and Bryce, I’m the top one.

AMY:  Yeah, it’s like me and Isla Fisher.

JESSICA:  Yes, except you don’t look anything like Isla Fisher.

AMY:  I actually do.

JESSICA:  No.  That’s dumb.  You don’t look anything like her.

AMY:  But I’m still above her on the--

JESSICA:  It’s totally different, but anyway I’m above Bryce, which means I’m supposed to get first pass on everything, and yet, I’m still finding out about stuff that, yes, maybe I would have passed on had I known about it, but I didn’t know about it, and that’s what’s making me really upset.

AMY:  Have you talked to your agent about it?

JESSICA:  I tried, but she keeps calling me Sarah.

AMY:  Who’s Sarah?

JESSICA:  I have no idea.

AMY:  Have you considered replacing her?

JESSICA:  Who, Sarah?  I don’t even know who she is.

AMY:  No, your agent.

JESSICA:  Oh.  I would, but, you know, she got me this far.

AMY:  I’m always replacing agents.  I never keep one for longer than a week.

JESSICA:  And you think that helps?

AMY:  It helps keep me on my toes.  As an artist, I find it’s helpful to be constantly unsettled.

JESSICA:  I’m...not sure I agree, but at this point, I’ll try anything.

AMY:  You’re doing very well.

JESSICA:  I’m doing okay, but like, the other day somebody congratulated me on being cast in Rocketman.

AMY:  That’s not you?

JESSICA:  No, that’s Bryce!

AMY:  Yeah, this might be a bigger problem than I thought.

JESSICA:  And everybody thinks it’s so cute and quirky, like--Oh, you must think it’s so funny that you two look alike and NO I don’t think it’s funny at all.  I’m sick of hearing about it to be totally honest with you.  I’ve never even met Bryce.

(A beat.)

Of course, I’m sure she’s very sweet.

AMY:  I’m sure.

JESSICA:  And she’s a really good actress.

AMY:  Yeah.

JESSICA:  I mean, I’ve never seen any of her movies, because I just don’t like that kind of stuff, but--

AMY:  What kind of stuff?

JESSICA:  You know, the kind of movies she’s in.

AMY:  She’s in lots of different kinds of movies--

JESSICA:  And none of them have really looked like anything I would enjoy, so, you know, I just haven’t seen them, but I’m sure they’re fine.  And I’m sure she’s fine in them.  I just don’t like that this keeps coming up over and over again.

AMY:  It won’t go on forever.

JESSICA:  What makes you say that?

AMY:  Well, Hollywood isn’t going to keep employing two people who look identical to each other, so eventually, they’re just going to stop hiring one of you.

(A beat.)

JESSICA:  Amy, why would you say that?

AMY:  Relax, she’ll be the one they stop hiring.

JESSICA:  No!  Because she’s Ron Howard’s daughter.  I’m not Ron Howard’s daughter.  I’m not anyone’s daughter.

AMY:  You don’t have parents?

JESSICA:  I mean, like, in terms of famous people.  My parents aren’t famous.

AMY:  But you’re a better actress.

JESSICA:  I know that, but there’s more to consider than just--I don’t have a franchise.

AMY:  That doesn’t--

JESSICA:  I DON’T HAVE A FRANCHISE!

(A beat.)

AMY:  Neither do I.

JESSICA:  It’s different, Amy.

AMY:  How is it--

JESSICA:  It’s just different.  It’s a subtle thing, but--it’s different, and--I mean, there are intricacies and--just really microscopic things that make it--that just make it totally different, and--and I’m sorry, but--yeah.

AMY:  Okay.

JESSICA:  It’s hard, you know, but you have to trust me on this.

AMY:  Okay.

JESSICA:  You just have to trust me that there’s a difference.

AMY:  Okay.

JESSICA:  Because, to you, sitting there, it might look the same, but from where I’m sitting, it’s like--I mean, it’s like night and day.

 (A beat.)

 

AMY:  Okay.

JESSICA:  It couldn’t be more different.

The End.