Strangers Who Look Like Friends

I was out at the bar

Working on drink number three

When I looked outside

And it was—

Oh gosh, it must have been

Like, maybe one?
One thirty in the morning?

And I’m in this crowded bar

And I just, you know, it’s that moment

When you just want to be home

It was late

And I’m not twenty

Not anymore

And uh, I just really

Wanted to finish my drink

Say my goodbye’s

And head out

I was there with about five or six people

Friends

I would say they were friends

But the thing is—

I’m standing there

At this bar

Listening to them talk about—

I don’t know

They were talking about

Some tv show they were watching

And something happened on it

Some character, like, murdered another character

Or something

And all of a sudden

There’s just this—click

Like, these people

My friends

Suddenly

I look at them

And they’re

Strangers

Absolute strangers

It was like one of those kaleidoscope things

That you would hold up to your—

A viewfinder

It was like a viewfinder

And I clicked

And suddenly

I have no idea

Who these people are

I’m surrounded by

I mean, I know them

I know how I know them

They seem like nice people

A little loud and, like, too much

But generally

They’re okay

But I just don’t know them, you know?

And I don’t know where I am

And I don’t know

How I got here

And it’s this moment

Where

Where

Where I almost put myself

In this position of like—

Checking myself

And being like—

Whoa

How did this happen?

It feels like time travel

Or something

Where suddenly
I’m just dropped

Into this moment in my life

That is really, uh, unfulfilling to me

And I wondered

If we’re supposed to avoid that

That—that—dropping in moment

Or if we’re supposed to pursue it

Because it’s some kind of, uh

Higher plane of existence or whatever

To be really aware

In this moment

Of where we are

And who we’re with

But as soon as I did that

I just wanted to rip off my clothes

And run out of there

Like a crazy person

I mean—

I felt like a crazy person

And it wasn’t just that nothing felt familiar

It was like—

It was like nothing

Was ever going to feel familiar

Again

Like—I was never going to know what it was

To have a friend

Or a—a—

To have someone know me

You know?

So it wasn’t just like—

Oh, everybody here is a stranger

It was like—

I’m the stranger

You know?

That’s what it was like

That’s—

That’s the best way

I can describe it